I can’t cope

Awww @Captain24 ,

I'm sorry to hear it was so hectic today.

I hope you find some rest tonight.

I'm here if you want a chat.

Hey @creative_writer 🙂

I don’t want to live anymore @tyme

Do you think these thoughts are louder, now that it's later and you might be tired @Captain24 ?

I'm hearing how loud these thoughts are.

I recognise it is hard, yet it is also a time to practice challenging these thoughts.

I don’t know @tyme. It’s been brewing for a while. This is where all my SI is coming from.

How do I challenge it? It’s so loud and consuming.

I'm not sure it is about the SI. There are emotions driving the SI. @Captain24

SI is simply a way you have found to cope. I'm saying this from someone who has chronic SI.

I don't know where my SI comes from either.

When I was very unwell, whenever I had SI, I thought it was 'wrong', that I was a 'bad' person and that I shouldn't have these thoughts. These feelings made me feel worse.

Rather, re-focus on your protective factors.

I’ve had to stop myself so many times in the last couple of weeks. @tyme. I’ve come so close. [edited by moderators].

I don’t want to let anyone down but I’m just beyond coping right now. I don’t know how much longer I can do it.

When I’ve been stable I’ve still had SI but I could let it float by.

Pix is my biggest protective factor. I do love her so much. She is sitting on my lap right now.

Im so sorry to dump all this on you.

I was doing some training recently @Captain24 . I don't think it was even mental health related. But the bottom line to fight urges and addictions etc was to make things inaccessible.

I know! I remember now that I'm typing. It was about gambling I think. The idea of self-exclusion from gambling venues. I was reading the research behind it all as part of training I was doing.

So for yourself - make it inaccessible.

NB, I'm going to have to edit your post a little or it'll be blocked.

How do I make it inaccessible when I need it at the same time. @tyme

Sorry about the post.