I can’t cope

Glad you got some up and go @Captain24 what flavour did you get??

eating disorders are the deadliest of mental health conditions yet they are the least funded. Which is really sad.

hope your getting some good rest

My sleep was good. It got me out of my head for a little while @Snowie @Bow @amber22. I don’t feel as sick but my body is still aching.

Im still reeling from my CM appt though. I can still hear her and I can still see the look on my dietitians face.

I couldn’t get a park at Willis so I had to go to coles and they only had vanilla and chocolate @Bow . I don’t do vanilla very well so, against my better judgment, I had to get chocolate. 😢 When I go shopping on Sunday I’ll see what Woolies has.

There is nothing out here for ED’s that I know of. I don’t think I could face it anyway. It’s still all so very raw. I was in denial that I had one.

Glad the sleep helped a little @Captain24

Up and go's are a good idea.

Glad your nap was helpful @Captain24

Yeah there isn’t much of anything for ED treatment unfortunately. There is a public inpatient facility in Sydney, I’ve been on the waitlist for that but always get removed cause I don’t meet their criteria (low bmi) and not sick enough, that unfortunately is so very often the focus of ED treatment. Typical anorexia is actually not as typical and common as atypical. But it’s all this focus of what society perceive as an ED and a whole lotsa fat bias. I told a ‘friend’ once that I had anorexia and she looked at me with this puzzled expression on her face and said ‘who? You?’. I decided never to tell anyone again.

my old psychology is still with community mh but she is now an ‘eating disorder specialist’. I have no idea what that involves and what services are available. We use to have an eating disorder outpatient clinic here but it shut down.

if you have private health then you have a few more options.

Im extremely over weight @Bow. That’s why I’ve gotten myself into this mess. When I had Covid I was a candidate for anti-virals due to my BMI.

Im sorry you are judged for it due to not looking ‘typical’

Im kinda glad that my team have stepped in. I’ve read the material my CM gave me on malnutrition. Im not sure on what they think is wrong with me. But they are all deeply concerned.

I do have private health insurance.

I’m overweight too now @Captain24 i put on so much weight when I was in hospital last time. I think my meds have contributed too. My body really does not like the extra weight that I carry. I get a lot of aches and pains and it’s made my fibromyalgia much worse. But nothing I do makes much difference to drop the weight. My metabolism is stuffed.

Not sure I shared, or you read, but I was in hospital once last year, my potassium was low and I had had a couple of bags of IV replacement but it didn’t really bring it up much so the medical doctor said I needed to stay in. I was then cleared by mental health. The medical doctor then said I could go home. Cause I didn’t look sick, didn’t look like I have anorexia my body didn’t matter anymore. It really messed with my head for a long time.

im really glad your team are stepping in and taking things seriously. Malnutrition is serious. Read up on starvation syndrome too. It can really affect our brains alot. I have often had an NGtube put in cause my brain is just not able to function properly and reason with treatment and eat. I really hope that you’re able to increase your intake and avoid a medical admission but I do fear that is where things are heading for you. Eating disorder medical admissions are not fun and neither are NG tubes.

Hey there @Captain24

I hope your sleep made you feel a bit better, it's so understandable to be feeling this way after how this morning went, I'm so sorry it has been so tough for you.

Do you have much planned for tonight?

Thanks for sharing @Bow. It’s now a fear I have too. I don’t need to add to my already messed up brain.

I really struggled at work in the nightshifts and I’m now wondering whether or not this problem was the cause of it. As the night wore in I got really tired and had trouble seeing. I didn’t share that with my CM though.

I am going to try to increase but I want to do it slowly.

Thanks @amber22. I feel so broken, raw and vulnerable.

I don’t have any plans for tonight. I could watch a movie I guess.

Aw @Captain24 I'm sitting with you while you're feeling this way.

Good idea! What kind of movie? I've been thinking I should get into the Harry Potters, I've never actually seen them and theres so many I think they will keep me occupied for a while