I can’t cope

I’m home @tyme. My visitors have left and cleaned up my kitchen. That was nice of them.

Oh? So you went to work while the visitors where at your house? @Captain24

But I'm glad they cleaned your kitchen.

How are you?

It was only my brother and co @tyme. They were more here to see my parents. They just used my house to stay!

I left at 5:30 this morning. I only found out that they were coming on Thursday so I couldn’t take another day off work.

Im really not ok. I feel so empty and broken. It’s like I’m an empty broken shell. It’s a real struggle.

How are you going?

Fair enough. I hope it was okay having them with you @Captain24 . It's quite different from being alone to having a hope of people.

I hear what you mean about being empty. I recognise this has been for a while now, so you haven't really even had a break.

What do you think will help?

As for today, it was really warm here so I went for some walks in the morning. It was just so lovely to be in the sunshine.

It was nice having people stay but I am glad it was only one night. I couldn’t have handled any longer.

I’m at a loss as what to do @tyme. I’ve been trying. I have a ton of support. I just don’t know how to fix it. I’m just so exhausted from it all. I don’t know if it’s partly due to everything with dad being up in the air. I can’t plan anything for myself until we know what is going on.

After a cold few days I’m sure a warm day was great. Walks sound nice. I love being in the sun too. It was sunny here but with a cold breeze.

Lol. Reminds me of my family. I don't mind hanging out with my parents, but more that the 'recommended dose' is tooooo much lol @Captain24 I just bite my tongue and walk away in case I say something hurtful.

As for you trying, I know you are. But please know that if you need extra support, you need to think of yourself first. It sounds like your dad is in good hands. You have such a big heart and you put everyone else first. Now it's time to remember your own needs. The longer this stretches, the harder it may be to heal.

First, do what's right for you.

Yeah small doses is enough!! 😂 @tyme

I just don’t have it in me to put myself first. That’s just not me. It’s the way I have always been. I feel like others are more important. I do put myself first with appts though. If I have one and something is on, I go to the appt.

When we get dates for dad and if I’ve got time and time off I will try and work something out. Maybe a few days away just Pix and I.

I am scared as to how hard it’s going to be to get out of this. Maybe my old CM will help she is really supportive. I think I start seeing her again in 2 weeks.

I know. I hear you. I'm one to put others first too. However, at the same time, I recognised it was because I was afraid to face that I needed help @Captain24 .

Do what you can. If you can organise a planned admission even for a few days, you'll realise it's better than an unplanned one lol - I'm speaking from experience!

I hope all goes smoothly with your dad.

Anyway, I'm hopping off now. I'll chat to you later in the week?

Good morning @Captain24

Just coming past to wish you a great day.

Sending lots of love to you 💌💌

Thanks @Snowie.

I need that today.

How are you?