I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

Is your brother coming over?

Take a breath. It’s okay. You are okay even if you don’t feel it. @Captain24 .

You have done remarkably well.

Don’t think too much ahead. Take it slowly.

Yeah @tyme my brother will be here tonight. My 2 biggest triggers are mum and bro. He is bringing his girlfriend who we have never met and my niece and her boyfriend are coming as well. I need to get my shit together to be able to deal with it and have the mask on so I don’t disappoint everyone.

I have controlled my breathing but my heart rate is still really high. My thoughts are still racing and I’m still shaking. I still wish I could just go. I’m still crying but I need to pull myself together.

Ive re done my list of jobs and taken out the ones that really don’t matter. @Snowie I’ve also put them in order of what needs to be done and time frames. I’m hoping that helps me gain a little control over myself.

I think I’m trying to hard and being too hard on myself.

I also need to sort my meds and put them in the daily organiser. That’s going to be tough.

It's good that you have a list of things that need to be done @Captain24 Taking some out might ease the pressure on yourself.

It sounds like things are moving in the right direction even though you are struggling.

I hope you can get your meds sorted out. My chemist does mine.

Meds are sorted safely. @Snowie @tyme.

All I have to do is vacuum and wash the floors. But now my friend is coming over so Pixie can play with her boyfriend. I’m totally not up for it. I’m a complete mess. But I’m so stupid and useless that I just can’t say no. I hate myself for making today even harder for me than it already is. I guess it’s not about me though, I shouldn’t be so inconsiderate of others. At least Pix will have some fun.

Well done for getting your meds sorted @Captain24 Hopefully that will help when you take them.

I find it hard to say no too, you are not alone. It does not mean you are stupid or useless. I hope tonight goes ok for you and you can get through it. Moment by moment hon 💕

I have finished everything and my friend has gone. I just completely lost it in the shower. I just laid on the floor with the water running on me.

I feel so spent and so broken right now.

I don’t know if I can be everything everyone wants me to be tonight. I don’t know if I can hold myself together. I have another anxiety attack I’m trying to fight off.

Ive just had enough.

Hey @Captain24

Sounds like you are having a really tough time today but still demonstrating your resilience to keep pushing forward. What has worked for you to cope in the past when you have felt anxiety coming on?

Here sitting with you today, please reach out to the community and me if you need to chat.

Take care

RiverSeal

I’ve just taken some prn @RiverSeal. I’m not supposed to take it before I go to work but with 2 anxiety attacks today I really need it.

The hardest part of my day is still to come. I’ve got 2 hrs to rest before it starts. There is so much fear around tonight that it’s not helping my anxiety either. I can’t even escape because it’s at my house.

Ok, you know yourself best @Captain24, and the effects of taking the PRN so I'm sure you have considered that. Do you have a backup plan for tonight if your anxiety or the effects of the PRN affect you at work?

I had to reframe my relationship with my apartment after having many episodes here but I managed to create a new environment within the same space. Have you thought about your home from that point of view or could you consider that moving forward?

I'm here tonight if you want to check in while you are at work.

Warmest

RiverSeal