I can’t cope

I have a fake one and it’s awesome. @tyme. I have it on now.

It’s a little comforting being warmer.

Im still a mess. But I am proud of what I achieved today. I really don’t know how I managed to keep going when I have nothing to give. But I guess I could look at it as a win.

100%. Through your posts, I see so many wins and that's why I think it's important to point them out.

I was only sharing that I studied psych and didn't enjoy it because it was very deficit-based.

I'd rather celebrate the wins. This doesn't mean we do not acknowledge the challenges, but instead, we see each person as a whole - not just what they can't do or have trouble doing. @Captain24

You have made us all so proud 🙂 You should see your wins and celebrate them

At least I am trying to gradually find the wins @tyme. I do appreciate them being shown. I don’t usually see them.

I appreciate being seen as a whole person as I don’t see it. I appreciate that you see the good and the challenging parts. I’m starting to be able to read the wins but I still struggle accepting them. But at least I’m giving it a go.

Im proud of being able to acknowledge my uncle’s sacrifice today, even though everything inside me was screaming not too.

The hard thing is though is that it has left me so drained that all the negativity has come back. I’m trying to tell myself that it is because I put so much effort in today. It’s just taking over

Maybe an early night will help @Captain24 ?

It's been a big day.

I know that when I've had big days, it does affect my mood and thinking.

Yeah @tyme. I might head to bed. It’s for the best. I have SH urges that I don’t want to give into and the other temptation is there as well.

Thank you for supporting me again. Sorry I’m such hard work.

I hope you have a good night. I’ll chat tomorrow if you’re on.

Please don't think you are hard work. I love chatting to you and others here on the forums. That's why I'm here @Captain24 . I know what it is like on the other side. Connection can make an entire difference.

We are here for each other.

So far I’ve managed to fight my no motivation to go grocery shopping for tonight when my bro arrives.

My job list for today is huge, I don’t have the energy but it has to be done. I need it all done by lunchtime.

Pixie’s boyfriend will probably come around for a play date this afternoon. However if it starts to snow today I have to take his mum snow chasing as she has never seen it. At least it’s only a 30 min drive to find it. I honestly couldn’t think of anything worse. It’s too cold and wet!

It would just be nice to wake up feeling ok and not dreading the day in front of me. No negativity. No nasty thoughts. No urges. No anxiety attacks. Just a day full of peace and comfort. I don’t know that that is ever going to happen.

Anyhow. I hope everyone is having a good day.

The pressure has finally gotten to me. I have crumbled in a heap. I am sitting in the floor sobbing wishing for my life to end. I feel like can’t do this anymore

My chest is hurting so much. I can’t breathe. I’m shaking. My mind is racing with thoughts I can’t catch. I need it to stop.

Deep breaths hon @Captain24

You have already done so much today

Just trying to take it hour by hour. One small step at a time.

What do you need to do next?