I can’t cope

These are all very valid points @Captain24 . I'm wondering if you can speak to your CM about these concerns?

I know that if you do have an admission, it means Pix will have to be with your parents. I can sort of see why it's a tough decision.

Please know that an admission doesn't mean you have 'failed' in any way.

As for group therapy, I was also petrified of it - but after 1.5 years of it, you soon realise it's benefits. The facilitators would know the hesitations I reckon.

I’ll wait and see how if I get my old CM back and talk to her @tyme. She knows me way better. She knows me better than I know myself.

Yeah Pix is a concern. I’ve never really been away from her. Except for work obviously. I don’t think I’ve gone anymore than a day without seeing her. I’m not sure how she would cope.

It is something to think about when things settle down.

Im heading to bed. I’m just to exhausted , mentally and physically. I won’t be on for the next 3 nights as I’ll be working but I will probably do the odd post. I’ll talk to you next week.

Thank you for being you.

I hope you have a good night and a good week.

Thank you

Sorry to hear about your Dad's results hon, but glad that he can get treatment for it.

Wishing you a good day today

Sending lots of love 💜💜

Thanks @Snowie.

Im sitting here waiting for my CM. I don’t think she is going to be happy with me.

Then I’ll go home and sleep ready for nightshift tonight.

My fingers are crossed for Dad. We are waiting to hear from the radiation professor hopefully he still has a 70% chance but I guess we have to wait and see.

I hope you have a good day.

Sorry to hear about your Dad's results , but glad that he can get treatment for it. @Captain24

thinking of you lots for today

i hope it goes well with your CM @Captain24

Sitting in this space with you

Thanks @Shaz51

My CM appt. was rushed. @Snowie She didn’t really have time. She never talked about my mood which is really obvious. She just puts it down to dad and my intake.

She was ok that I was trying while I’m working but I know it’ll be different when I’m on days off.

Im really not ok. I feel like I can’t do life anymore. I almost did something last night. I had to go to bed to keep myself safe. I’m really struggling with the same urge today.

Hey @Captain24

Sorry that it's such a tough time for you at the moment, I'm here to chat if you needed.

I just sent you an email before too.

Do you have anything planned for today that might be able to give your mind a rest for even a little bit?

Sitting with you,

Amber22

I'm sorry to hear it was rushed @Captain24 It is hard when they rush us through, it doesn't feel good.

You are trying and that is all you can ask for. Going to bed last night shows just how much fight you have in yourself. You could have taken a different path and you didn't.

I hope work goes well for you. Can you get a sleep in before hand?

Thanks @amber22. I have responded.

I’ll go to bed in an hr @Snowie. I’ll get a couple of hours sleep before I go. I really don’t want as it’s really dark out there. The darkness means I can’t see to look at things like the scenery. The darkness doesn’t help my mood at all.

It’s really hard but I really have to concentrate on others that need me. In the moment that’s not what I’m thinking. I’m only thinking of my self.