I can’t cope

@Captain24 This ain’t your fault at all and you certainly don’t deserve it. Disordered eating is such a complex thing, I really hope that your dietitian can really help you and that she can explain things and help you understand why it has become such a big thing for you at the moment and what it’s role is for you.

@fluffylight I’m a natural auburn, but stupid me went with a different shade and it looks horrible. Hoping to just get back to my natural colour

I don’t listen to music while walking @fluffylight. This morning I just walked Pix around the estate I live in. I can see the mountains that surround us from all angles so I just take in the scenery.

It’s just started raining but should stop soon so I’ll take Pix down to a part of the river we haven’t been to. Something different for both of us. The pics yesterday were the wetlands around the corner from me @Snowie. While it’s raining I should jump in the shower. I haven’t had one for a couple of days. Plus I have to go to dinner tonight so I better be half presentable for my olds.

Yeah I think a new CM should be a good thing. I just don’t know who this new one is. She is from Wales. She is only going to be here for 3 months too.

I hope so too @Bow. I don’t understand it at all and why at my age and why now. It’s controlling my life but at the same time I feel like it’s the only thing I can keep control of. I know that makes no sense. She really is amazing. I’m positive that she can help me work through it in a way that we are both happy.

Just had a shower myself @Captain24 and washed my hair. Makes me feel so much better.

I'm sure Pix with be grateful for the walk. They love them so much.

I can totally understand wanting to control what you eat. I feel the same way. It is the only thing I seem to be able to control. It does make sense hon. Your dietitian sounds wonderful, is she available at all via email?

They are all thoughts I’ve had @Captain24 and they are all genuine questions that you can work through with your dietitian and psychologist. My eating disorder started as something that I could control in my out of control life and it very quickly spiralled much out of control.

I just had a shower @Snowie @Bow. It took everything I had. I’m just exhausted. It’s still raining too. I’ll take Pix tomorrow.

My dietitian is on leave for another week. But she only works 2 days a week. If she can fit me in earlier she said she would. She may check in.

Sorry guys I shouldn’t be talking about it. I don’t want to trigger either of you.

I’m feeling pretty low. Dinner was ok. I just have nothing.

Hey @Captain24 ,

Good to see you. I'm glad dinner was okay. Sorry you don't feel so good tonight.

Did you go out today?

Hiya @tyme

How was your day?

I did take Pix for a walk this morning but only around the estate.

It's good you got out, even if it was only around the estate @Captain24 .

I didn't do much physical activity today. I slept in this morning which was good.

I've been tidying the house and things. Oh, and I went shopping to get the kids some fruit. I haven't been shopping in what feels like ages!

I made the kids lunches for tomorrow - chicken and salad sandwiches...

Oh! That reminds me! I 'slept' in but was harassed by the kids all morning to make them pancakes. That's our regular Sunday morning routine. So I make plain ones, and the last bit of batter, I put dark chocolate and fruit (today was fresh strawberries...sometimes I put banana or blueberries).

They keep me on my toes... but then again, I know it won't be forever. It's like your nieces are all grown up now.

At least you got some tidying up done and some shopping @tyme. That’s way more than me.

Enjoy it while you can with your nieces and nephews. It was only yesterday my niece was that age and now she is nearly 21. It goes so quickly.

I love the Sunday morning routine of pancakes! Just so you know I don’t know how to make pancakes! Lol. That means an extra mess for you to clean up. You must like cleaning! Lol