I can’t cope

I’m feeling pretty down and out today @Snowie.

However my Pdoc is going to write a report for the board that do my medical saying that my bipolar is being treated so hopefully they will accept it and I still have a job.

Hi @tyme

I hope the letter from you pdoc helps @Captain24

Happy to sit and/or chat 💗

Just put my pjs on!!

Hey @Captain24 ,

Do you think the meds are working for the bipolar?

I know how much you love your job, but I also hear how hard it can be. I hope you still have a job too.

Helllo @Snowie dear 🙂 PJs are lovely!

I’ve just had a 3hr nap @tyme @Snowie. I think yesterday took more out of me than I thought.

Also I’ve been stressing about my medical and my CM said this morning that she spoke to the Pdoc yesterday and she said she couldn’t write it so my CM followed up today highlighting the part that said I needed my current Pdocs report. It was a relief to get the call saying she would do it.

I need my job. It is challenging at times but much less so than any other job I’ve had. Plus I stood up for myself for the first time ever. You haven’t heard that have you @tyme ?

Im not sure my meds are working @tyme but I haven’t seen my Pdoc since April. My CM seems to think I’m fine. She leaves in September and then I get another random. Maybe the new random might listen. They will only be here for 3 months also.

Im hoping my dietitian listens when I see her in 3 weeks. Maybe she will help.

My CM wants me to find creative things to do of a night. I read to her what I wrote the other day about my days full of darkness and my nights full of urges. She doesn’t get that I’m not creative at all! All the creativity and imagination got beaten out of me as a child.

PJ’s sound good @Snowie. Maybe I should go and have a shower and put them on.

I'm glad things are working out with the medical @Captain24 Hopefully it all works out.

I'm not creative at all either hon. My most creative thing is writing in my journal!!

A shower and pj's might help hon.

I'm just sitting in front of the fire place @Captain24 . It's so lovely and cozy.

This is not the space to bag out the education system, but I find the current education system doesn't give time for creativity. Even the penguins you make need to all look the same and cut perfectly.

Tell me tell me @Captain24 - stood up for yourself?? No I haven't heard. I'm so sorry. When I log on, I seem to come back to a million messages and things to do. So so sorry.

It’s all good @tyme.

This is going to be a long one but I’m really proud of myself!!!!

We have a prestart meeting before each shift. It’s divided into 2. I was in the other one. Apparently this girl roasted me about something pretty minor. Apparently it was pretty aggressive. When the boss asked her to name and shame she said she can’t as ‘she is in the other room!’

The guys, that I didn’t know valued me, worked out who she was talking about. They came to me at crib and told me what was said. I was pretty pissed. Several different people told me the same story over a couple of days. So when you get the same story several different times you know it really happened.

She had to jump in my truck one day while I had crib. I went up to her and she was being all nice as pie and kept calling me the shorten version of my name that she does. I was like this is not on. I confronted her! I told her to come to me if she had an issue and not roast me in the prestart! She back peddled really quickly and said it wasn’t like that. I told her I had heard it several times from different people. She the says ‘this is why I hate this f’ing crew. I just walked off and left her floundering!

My truck broke down near the end of shift and a car of guys came and picked me up. I told them what I did and they were proud of me and was glad someone finally said something to her. That’s when I found out that the previous mentioned group of guys had said ‘she can’t do that to our Captain! Using my nickname that they call me. They had made her life hell that day telling her to re-spot even if she was in the right spot. They stuck up for me.

It was so heartwarming knowing that they had my back! And that they were also proud of me!!!

That's a awesome story! You go girl! You totally deserve it!

That's exactly what I do now. I have no shame telling people straight to the face. I'd rather confront it that hide away.

It's taken a long time to be able to do it though.

So proud of you! Hope it gave you a confidence boost. @Captain24

Wow my @Captain24 🥰