I can’t cope

@Captain24 Your just as deserving of support as anyone else.

I think it's impossible to define anyone needing support more than any other person @Captain24. We all have different support needs. From my perspective, time and time again I see folks with this narrative of not wanting to take support away from someone else. And more often than not, they end up not accessing support for themselves, even though they really need, and really deserve it. You deserve it as much as anyone.

I used to think exactly like this as well - it took me 8 years before I actually sought out support for myself. I didn't think my issues were all that bad, surely others had it way worse? But I realise in hindsight that part of that was linked to my extremely low self-esteem, and part of it was linked to the fact that I'd had SI for so long it kind of became my default. I thought I should have been doing better in my circumstances. But what I was actually doing was minimising my circumstances and minimising my needs. I hope sharing my story helps you to see that you don't need to do the same.

I resonate with a lot in your last paragraph @Jynx. No self-esteem. I don’t feel as though I deserve it. SI is constant.

I haven’t recovered from last week. I’m really struggling to come to terms with what I did.

Im sorry.

@Captain24 I'm glad it resonated with you. I also hope it helps to know that I got past it all. I haven't had SI in years now, and am actually able to practice self-love. Everyone's journey is different, but recovery is possible. I believe you will get there too someday.

Be gentle with yourself, processing takes time. Take some time for self-compassion if you can. If you find yourself in a shame spiral, try to also give yourself empathy. Empathy is a good antidote to shame.

Thanks @Jynx. I’ll try. I’m not sure if I’m ready to be back or maybe not ok enough to be back. Maybe I’m better off alone. I just really don’t know.

Hiya @Captain24 🙂 Good to see you.

Hey @tyme.

I hope you are well.

Im so sorry. Im really really not ok.

No need to be sorry @Captain24 .

As much as I would have loved to hear otherwise, there are times when things are tough. I acknowledge that.

I also acknowledge the fact that you are here, reaching out even when it could be so easy just to shut yourself up and disconnect.

That is strength in itself.

I've always said I'll be on this journey with you - that's why I'm here. I may not be able to take the hurt and pain away, but hopefully, having someone around makes it more bearable.

Hugs

Thank you @tyme. I really appreciate you.

I just don’t know what to do. I don’t want to be a problem or be difficult

Do what you think is right for now @Captain24 .

Is there anything you need to do this evening? If not, allow yourself to rest tonight and decide tomorrow? What do you think?

Sometimes, we get very agitated and frustrated if we think too far ahead. If things are tough tonight, maybe it just doing what you can to get through tonight.

Then for the days ahead, work with your team. Sometimes, when you have tried and tried and tried, and things just haven't worked, we then need to try something else.