I can’t cope

Just stopping by to leave some well wishes @Captain24 been thinking about you today ❤️

Missing you @Captain24 and hoping everything is going ok for you.

Sending lots of love 💜💜

Thinking lots about you @Captain24 hoping things are going ok.

Please remember we are here when you need us.

Sending some 💕your way.

Hi all

I want to thank you all for the support you have shown me while I disappeared. It means a lot.

Im not sure if I’m ok enough to be posting on here but I will try. I’m not sure if I will find it too triggering.

Im still not doing very well at all. I am really struggling. I have considered making another attempt. I just have to remind myself that my parents need me.

Things aren’t going well with dad. We are still waiting for him to have his last scan. It was supposed to be yesterday but the machine broke down. Now it’s next week and the week after that he sees the specialist.

He saw the radiation professor on Monday. Before getting the results of the last test to be done Dad has a 30% of survival if he has surgery and 70% if he has radiation. Not sure if the odds if this last scan shows it has spread further.

I feel really selfish. I’ve been thinking about myself when I should be focusing on my parents.

I saw my psychologist today and told her everything about last week and the attempt. I also told her about the need for an ED assessment. She said I needed to see the GP but I have an appointment with him in 4 weeks. The same day as the dietitian. I don’t really want to go any earlier as I’m still not eating and slowly losing weight. I really don’t want to change anything. I want to lose as much as I can before they all take control.

Sorry for the long post. Just thought I should check in.

@Captain24 Have missed you. Sorry things are still really hard.

I totally get the whole feel really selfish when your parents are going through what they are. I deal with those feelings every day. They are hard to sit with.

Sorry not got much more to offer

Thanks for checking in @Captain24

Have been thinking about you.

Sorry to hear things still aren't going well. It is a very hard journey.

Sending lots of 💗 your way.

@Captain24 thank you for the update. I'm glad you're doing what you can to protect your peace, including stepping away from things that might be triggering. It's good to hear from you, though I'm sorry to hear that you're still in such a dark place. I think it's understandable with all that's going on. It would be such an indredibly difficult time for your family, but I think that it's okay to be selfish in some ways. If you aren't doing what you can to look after yourself, it will be that much harder to provide any support to your parents.

I'm glad you're seeing a dietician and your GP. I hope they approach your situation with compassion moreso than control. You can always find a different dietician if the support isn't right for your needs.

Take care of yourself, and keep us posted - as long as it's helpful for you and you have the mental space to do so of course.

I hear you @Bow. I think I’m my case they need me but I don’t know if I have the strength to help them so if I’m not here it’ll be easier.

I have been following on @Snowie. I’m sorry you are also I’m a bad place.

It’s still incredibly dark @Jynx. I’ve got so much more to say but this is not the platform. I’m just not sure where to turn.

Im not sure how my GP will approach me having an ED but I’m confident in my dietitian. She specialises in Mental Health. She has been really compassionate so far I was just never fully honest with her

Thanks for your support @Jynx @Snowie @Bow @tyme

I need extra support and I’m not sure where to get it from. I don’t want to take anything away from others here that need it more than me.

Hello and hugs @Captain24 🥰