I can’t cope

Hi @Helpmeheal . I’m feeling pretty good today. Thank you for asking.
Hope you are ok?

hi @tyme @Paperdaisy.

Today had its ups and downs

It started off ok. Then things didn’t go the way they should. I was like a spoilt child and it’s the first time I’ve realised that. I was ashamed of myself for acting that way but it did get me down. I gave my self an hr where I was allowed to feel depressed. Then I had to focus on other things and ‘get over it’. Which I did!

Just before lunch I noticed that everything I look at was brighter and sharper. My mood got so much better. Then I kept going up and started an elevated mood. I was due for my meds 2hrs later so it bought it back under control. So now I know a sign of it starting! Go me. I don’t know what the trigger was though.

I’m now tired and flat but a good flat. I had conversations with people and even ask if someone wanted to jump in the truck with me.

Im feeling really positive!

Hope you guys had a great day because I did!

@Captain24 I am glad you had a better day. I was feeling pretty rotten for most of the day, feeling kind of calm and ok at the moment. I am really appreciating having a break from the turmoil. I hope you are also enjoying a rest from the pain.

That's so powerful @Captain24 when you said "I gave my self an hr where I was allowed to feel depressed."

'Allowing' yourself is incredible. Just as allowing yourself to love yourself is powerful. Just as loving yourself is powerful.

You are more powerful than you think!

tyme

Btw @Captain24 ,

As I was reading your post, I thought something terrible happened at first, but as I read on, I realised something terribly good happened!

Also, give yourself the credit that it is you that is doing the work! Don't give the meds all the credit! You are doing the hard lifting!

tyme

I’m glad you’re feeling ok now @Helpmeheal . It is exhausting getting through the turmoil. So I’m enjoying while it lasts

I do feel a lot stronger @tyme. I am incredibly proud of what I have achieved especially in the last 2 days.

I have a long way to go to convince myself that I can love myself. I’m not totally sure I ever will. I still have a long way to go to not despise myself! My goal is to just be content with myself.

I will beat this!!!!

I’m feeling a little low today.

Heading of to bed for a sleep before I go to work tonight. Hopefully I wake up feeling better. I need to. 3 nights is long and hard when I’m feeling great.

I can do this!

I didn’t sleep very well so it’s going to be a long shift. Plus we have had 30mils of rain and it’s still raining.
Lots of energy drinks for me. Hoping they lift my mood as well

Please be careful with having too many energy drinks with your medication @Captain24 - they can have an effect on your heart. Speak to the GP if things don't seem too good.

I didn't have a good sleep last night either. I kept hearing voices... I don't mean 'hearing voices' as in psychosis... but I went out in the morning with some people and one of the kids had such an annnnnnooooyyyyyiiiinnngly high and squeaky voice! It was so irritating! So while trying to sleep, I kept hearing this kid's voice! eeerrrggghhh. I hear it now just thinking about it!

I'm glad I don't have my own kids or I'll be hearing their voices all night! Or maybe I'll become immune to it?