I can’t cope

@Captain24 good morning hon. Hoping today is a little better for you.

Sending some love and strength to you 💜💜

Thanks @Snowie.

Im sorry I was so hard to deal with yesterday. I’m glad you stepped away.

I have an appointment with my CM in an hr. Hopefully she will help me and not admit me.

Hi @Captain24

I was still listening along hon. Just didn't want you to get overwhelmed, plus I knew you were in great hands. Sometimes trying to keep up with a thread if too many people are on it can be hard work.

You weren't any trouble at all. I am glad you came onto the forums seeking help, instead of trying to do it by yourself. I feel like every time I talk to you, I learn just a little bit more about you.

I hope your appt. with you CM goes well. Will be here if you need to chat afterwards.

My CM appointment didn’t go well. I told her everything. She said I told her enough to schedule me. But I need to be home for mum and dad and they don’t need the stress. She wants to see me on Monday.

I have to drink 2 litres of water today and eat something. Even if it’s just toast. I said I would but I don’t know if I can. I think it’s gotten hold of me. I’ve been losing weight and the scales said I lost weight between yesterday and today.

I think I’m in trouble and need help. I’ve got chest pain but I didn’t tell her about that. She is going to talk to my dietitian so hopefully she will get in contact with me today. I hope she understands better than my CM did.

I got my script from the chemist and they were very understanding and only gave me 5 of my anti-depressant. At least that keeps me safe. I told my CM that’s what I was doing and she was happy that I was trying to take control. I don’t need another attempt. As much as I want too.

I really need some help.

It doesn’t matter

What doesn't matter @Captain24 ? Are you safe right now? I'm concerned for you after reading through the recent posts. ❤️ Not eating/restricting your eating is dangerous. Like Bow explains. Also as @Bow says you say you need help - I think it's time well and good to take it.

Hey @Captain24

Even though you thought your appointment didn't go well I am proud of you for opening up and telling her everything. That would have been extremely difficult to do and you showed so much courage in doing that. Well done also in being proactive with your scripts. You shouldn't dismiss how big of a step this is. You should be really proud of this.

Perhaps even try and eating half a piece of toast. I know how difficult this is but, I have been restricting what I eat too. My pdoc is concerned about this.

Could you perhaps call nurse on call about your chest pain. They might be able to help you with this more then I can.

Am around for awhile. Have to go pick the kids up from school later on but am still here and listening hon 💜💜

@Captain24 Please be careful. And please seriously consider going to hospital. When you restrict your intake, it puts your electrolytes out and one of them is potassium. Potassium is really important for your heart and if you’re having chest pains that is really concerning.
Not only does restricting your intake mess with your electrolytes, but starting to eat more regularly after restricting does too. Your electrolytes are like oh my gosh what is all this nourishment my body is getting??? It’s called refeeding syndrome and it’s pretty scary! I’ve had it- potassium above 5 is normal, mine was down to 2.1. It can be life threatening.

you keep saying that you need help. Please get it. Please accept it.

sometimes when I am in this place where I really need some help but it just feels too hard, I write it down and give it to my supports. I need them to make the decision because I can’t. I write that I will go willingly, so no need to schedule me. But please take the decision out of my hands.
do you think you can do that?

I know going into hospital is super scary. Especially for the first time. But I will come with you if it’ll make it a tiny bit easier @Captain24 I’ll be in your pocket and just a tag away.

but please go. Please reach out for help