I can’t cope

I don't think she likes the kennel @Captain24 She is a very pampered pooch at home! But they look after the dogs there well. She goes to the same one each time so I guess it is familiar to her.

I understand how hard it is to have those meds in the house hon. I have my meds put into packs and then they go in the safe at home. Can you maybe speak to your chemist and get them put into day packs for you. Maybe even just take a few days home each time. Perhaps it is worth asking at least.

Do you have anything else planned for the day or just a quiet one at home?

Do you ever take her away with you? @Snowie. I don’t know what the kennels are like around here.

I don’t want to be a difficult customer for the chemist but I can check when I need to pick them up.

Im just at the hospital waiting on my dietitian appointment. I’ve just had pixies boyfriend for an hour so I think when I get home I will just chill on the lounge. I only got 2 hrs sleep this morning after I got home from work.

What do you have planned other than washing?

We sometimes take her away if they are dog friendly places @Captain24 When we go to the snow we cannot however. I did some research and found a good kennel near where we leave.

I don't think you will be a difficult customer hon. That is one of the things that chemists offer people.

I hope your dietitians appointment goes ok and you can get some more rest this afternoon. 2 hours isn't that long.

Did some food shopping too. Now just settled into the couch with Izzy.

My dietitian appointment didn’t go well @Snowie.

She is concerned about my safety and also wants to do an eating disorder assessment. I don’t want to do it as I feel like it’s the only thing I have control of. It’s in 6 weeks as she is away and my work roster doesn’t work on her days. So I have 6 weeks.

If I can control what I eat then maybe I can control my thoughts. I might find some strength.

She is discussing me with my CM.

@Captain24 it sounds like your dietitian is worried about you and wants to do what is best for you. Talking to your CM might be helpful and if they can be on the same page, then that might benefit you.

Does she want you to loose weight hon, or is that something you have in mind?

Thanks @outlander

Hopefully they will be on the same page. @Snowie I do have a good team.

I want to lose the weight. My BMI is obese. She just wants me to eat healthier and be healthy.

The assessment pending has me wanting to lose as much as possible as quickly as possible. I think I may be developing a problem. But I’m hoping it’ll stop my suicidal thoughts. They scare me more. I am scared of where they are taking me. I actually feel at ease with ending my life.

It is fine to loose weight @Captain24 as long as you do it healthy. Not that I can talk. I restrict myself a lot with food. I can understand that it feels sometimes like the only thing we can control.

There is a difference between feeling at ease with ending your life and planning on it hon. I can understand that you feel that way. I hope that if you are planning it, that you can reach out for support hon.

Hi @Captain24

Wanting to sit with you in your thoughts 💛

You have a right to health and happiness, whatever that looks like for you.

How are you feeling?

fluffylight x

Hello @Captain24 Sitting with you like you are sitting with me my friend xxxx