I can’t cope

Thanks @fluffylight @Shaz51

That’s why I haven’t been to the chemist and picked up my scripts @Snowie

Im hoping if I can lose weight maybe I won’t need my plan. I check my weight everyday to check.

I have nothing. I am nothing.

You're someone to me @Captain24! And to all of us here on the forums!

Sending some very warm hugs your way, and I'll be here till 10 if you wanted to chat 💜

Thanks @Jynx @outlander

I went to bed early last night and I’ve not long woken up. I need that sleep after not sleeping much yesterday.

What the dietitian has said is playing on my mind. I am concerned but I hopped in the scales this morning and have lost more weight. So it’s working. Once I reach my goal and feel comfortable I will change things.

I usually wake up feeling ok, but not this morning. My world is really dark and I have no motivation.

Pixies boyfriend and his mum are coming for a visit today, they were here yesterday too. I apologised for the state of my house and said I had just come if nightshift and hadn’t had time to clean. I have no excuse for today. The kitchen is what they see and it’s not very clean. I just want to go back to bed and pretend everything will go away.

I hate myself for being like this.

@Captain24 💌💌

I was doing some research and I do have a severe problem but I don’t want to change my current pattern as it will hopefully fix it.

I think I’m going down a dark tunnel but don’t want to stop.

Hi @Captain24

Can I ask what you mean when you say this? Like why do you think you don't want to change your pattern/fix the problem?

❤️

I’ve been on the butterfly foundation site. @hanami.

My dietitian wants to do an ED assessment on me. But if I focus on this situation maybe it’ll stop me focusing on ending my life. I feel if I lose enough weight it will fix everything else. It’s my last hope. I cant even pick my meds, that I need, up from the chemist as I can’t trust myself with them.

@Captain24 having a focus can help. I did go through this myself. Focussed on weight loss (many years ago). I went too far, lost too much, had to come back and find other focusses. It's tough, hey.

Sending hugs