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I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor16 June 2022, 9:48 pm AEST

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

tymeModerator08 July 2023, 5:23 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Sounds like a very trying time @Captain24

We are upholding you. I recognise it must be so hard now.

I know you mentioned that if it did turn out to be cancer, then mum would become more difficult. Maybe it's her way of coping right now.

Have you been able to speak to your CM?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor08 July 2023, 5:29 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I spoke to her yesterday @tyme but I had come off nightshift and was slightly elevated. So I felt like I had it all under control. Up until a couple of hrs ago my MH was in a good place so I was coping with it. Now I’m thinking of the uncertainty.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator08 July 2023, 6:21 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I guess we can only take one step at a time. I hear that so many things are uncertain. At least you had a few 'better' days @Captain24 .

It seems like there's still a way to go.

Do you have both dogs with you at the moment?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor08 July 2023, 7:02 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

I appreciate that I’ve had a few good days @tyme. It feels like I’ve had some relief and I know what it’s like.

Mum and dad are home at the moment so I only have Pix. They are coming over tomorrow for lunch and a little birthday party. Pix is 4 tomorrow. So I have to make her cake in the morning.

Dad has an MRI on Tuesday so I have Angel then. They will drop her off while I’m at the psychologist. I think dads more scared of the MRI than the cancer! He is severely claustrophobic! I’ve tried to teach him breathing techniques to calm the anxiety. I guess I’ve learnt something in this mess of my life!

How is everything with you and the kids? Did you ever finish your niece’s diamond art? I’m doing my Pix one now.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Shaz51Senior Contributor08 July 2023, 7:05 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Hello and hugs @Captain24 🙂🥰

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor08 July 2023, 7:25 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Hi @Shaz51

How is everything going?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

outlanderSenior Contributor08 July 2023, 7:26 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

hi @Captain24 i dont know much of your story but i read your last couple of posts enough to know your struggling abit tonight. i am around if you would like to talk about anything

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator08 July 2023, 7:28 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Poor dad @Captain24 . Tell him to just close his eyes. And good on you for sharing breathing techniques lol. It's probably a good idea to let the med staff know in advance that he is claustrophobic... I wonder how others do it?

I finished my niece's diamond art and was doing my nephew's one, but then he got angry so took it from my house. So it's nicely sitting dormant at his house now. I'm looking forward to see this Pixie one.

And Pix's! bday! That's so awesome! I'm beginning to think that's it better to have dogs than kids... dog don't answer back. What cake are you going to make? I'm sure Pix doesn't eat much.

My niece says this morning, "I'm so sad because school holidays are nearly finished" (they go back on Monday). Then my nephew perks up, "I'm not sad because I love school!" It was so cute to see him love school so much... but yeah, my niece doesn't really like school....

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor08 July 2023, 7:54 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

Hi @outlander

Nice to meet you.

A little about me. I’m in my 40’s, single no kids other than a cute furbaby. I live in my own home and have a great job.

Things are pretty tough. Dads just been diagnosed with cancer so it’s turned out world upside down. On top of that my MH is dropping again. I did manage 5 good days though so that’s a plus.

How are things with you?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

outlanderSenior Contributor08 July 2023, 8:01 pm AEST

Re: I can’t cope

hi @Captain24 its nice to meet you too.
Thanks for bringing me up to speed on somethings!
can i ask what you do for work? its really good to hear you have a great job, so many struggle with that part.

im sorry to hear about your Dad though, that is really tough. im sure theres alot happening in that department right now but i hope your family get the right support. the hospitals usually have liaisons and support groups sometimes too. the shock of the diagnosis would be tough on anyone so in a way a decline in mental health may not be as a surprise. it sounds like youve noticed that though. Does anything usually help you to bring it back up or manage when your feeling down?

things are tough my end too but trying to do the best i can between my caring role, work, and physical health/chronic pain managements and studying.

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