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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24, I’m afraid my body has betrayed me. So I’m just left disappointed.

I do agree it’s hard to stay optimistic and hopeful, but we need to try. We need to try to give hope to ourselves and others 💗

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I’m sorry @creative_writer. At least you tried

In response to: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 , I was reading that you have had pretty okay days at work and everything... and then I read that your dad has high grade prostate cancer. I'm so sorry to hear this.

Do they think they caught it early enough?

How are you?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Hi @tyme

Sorry I fell asleep. I was pretty tired with not really sleeping after nightshift and processing what’s going on.

Dads 2 scans he had last week have come back as saying the cancer hasn’t spread. The doctor is surprised so he is sending him for more. He has an MRI anon Tuesday. Sees the specialist the following Wednesday and has a radiation scan on the 26th.

At this stage he has 2 options. One is to have his prostate removed and be cancer free if it hasn’t spread. Two is to have radiation treatment and hope it removes the cancer. We are thinking he will go option one.

MH wise I am doing really well. I am scared of what this other tests will show. But I’m having a positive outlook on it. At this stage I am coping ok with it. It has just turned our world upside down though and the uncertainty is a little difficult to process.

Hope you are well.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I think it’s probably time to step away from the forums for a little while. I’m a little upset with the feeling that some people are more important than others. Plus the lack of support when things are going well. It feels like you don’t deserve or need support to stay in an ok space.
This community use to feel supportive.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 💖🫂. I’m here. You matter to us. Sending lots of hugs your way, what you’re going through with your dad isn’t easy

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Hey @Captain24 ,

I'm really sorry about how you are feeling at the moment about the forums. I know I haven't been around as much - more 'hidden' in the background.

I acknowledge things are tough for you right now, especially with your father. I'm here this weekend if you need a chat.

tyme

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Thanks @tyme @creative_writer

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

How are you and your family managing anyway @Captain24 ?

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Not sure if you read my post I tagged you in earlier @tyme but he has to have 2 more scans to see if it’s spread.

As my mood is dropping, which you probably already read in my reply, I’m starting to worry. My mum and dad seem to be doing ok though.

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