I can’t cope

I’m sitting on the lounge in my pyjamas trying to talk myself into going to my CM appointment at 3. She isn’t as good as my old one and I’m not sure she gets me. Also I’m not sure if I should tell her about last night. I’m not sure if I can.

Hey @Captain24 . How did the appt go?

Hello and hugs @Captain24

Hey @tyme.

I cried for an hour and a half. I told her that we have worked out I’m grieving a life that I could have had but it didn’t work out. I also told her I feel abandoned by my old CM. I told her about self harming and how much this escalated last night after talking to you. I don’t know if you saw my post to you from last night.

It was a very heavy session. I feel so broken, exhausted and ashamed. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just have nothing left.

Thanks @Shaz51.

I hear you are so alone at the moment @Captain24 . It sounds so hard.

I realise it is hard to even consider the idea that things will one day improve.

I've also been in that place. It was dark for many many years. So I hear and feel what it may be for you right now.

You are not alone here.

Hugs to you.

Yes @tyme Im so alone.

I need help but I don’t know where to turn. I already have a CM, psychologist and psychiatrist.

What I'm doing doesn’t seem to be working. You’re right, though, I don’t see things improving.

How has your day been?

Did you ever get to read The Happiness Trap by Russ Harris @Captain24 ?

Or, Calming the Emotional Storm?

These are books that really helped me. I didn't put everything into practice, but I had the understanding to put strategies into place when I needed it most.

Just hang in there.

I’ll try reading it again @tyme. I need to do something. Im trying to hang on but I’m slipping.

I read and 'feel' you are slipping. But you are also recovering @Captain24 . This is part of recovery. Don't think slipping is not a part of recovery. Often, it gets worse before it gets better.