I can’t cope

@Captain24, so sorry to hear there is a lot going on, it’s hard when parents get ill 😔, and on top of that you already have a lot going on with your MH

Sending you lots of love. Sitting with you 💖🫂

I’m feeling really ashamed of myself tonight.

Hi @Captain24 ,

I'm so sorry you are feeling this way tonight. From what you have said, I can see you have done something you are not so pleased about.

What do you think will help you at this time?

I really don’t know @tyme. I’ve had a hot shower put my pjs on and I’m in may pretend oodie. I still feel so helpless, lost and alone.

Have you spoken to your treating team about this? I know you mentioned your CM was away. @Captain24

I hear this is so very hard right now.

No @tyme my GP appointment was about getting a MHCP and changing one of my meds.

I wanted to talk to my CM but obviously I can’t. I do meet my relieving one tomorrow. I’m hoping she is just a relief and that mine comes back. This change isn’t helping me. It’s making me feel

more alone.

Im so sorry.

Hi @Captain24 ,

I read that you are waiting to speak to your CM and you do have the opportunity to speak to a 'fill-in' tomorrow?

I'd encourage you to be open to this. There have been times when I longed to speak to my regular therapist, but it was also a learning for me to speak to someone else and for them to share their insights.

I read you feel alone, but know that you have a whole community here behind you to see you succeed.

We really do care about you.

I see her at 9:15 @tyme. I guess I have to give her a chance. I’m not sure if I can open up. I think I’ll keep what I did last night to myself even Hough it’s really sore. Maybe she may give me different insight.

Thanks for being with me. I know I don’t make it easy.

Maybe it's not just about 'opening up' @Captain24 . Maybe it's just for a check-in, or even for the purpose of accountability.

In the past, for me, appointments sometimes were not actually about the content of the appointment, but more so that I had to be alive to attend an appointment. I'm someone who feels extremely guilty if i don't attend an appointment that is made.

Hence, it was a way to keep me alive.

If I make an appointment I make sure I attend too @tyme. My concern is that I have so much I need to get out and let go of.