I can’t cope

Sorry @PolishSausage85 you obviously are worse off than I am. I don’t know what I’m talking about

@Captain24

On paper my worst moment probably looks worse

but that’s not true.
my peak and your peak of sadness are the same

just because you haven’t and I hope you never experience it, matches

doesn’t mean you’re not valid.

hence why I tell you

lifes shit but it will get better

im hanging on and if I am, hang on with me

@Captain24 💕

Hoping work goes ok for you

It was alright @Snowie

When I got to my phone afterworld I checked my emails. Some random for CH has emailed me and she is now looking after my care. I’m hoping my CM is on holidays and is coming back.

Right now I don’t need some random I need her. I need to talk admissions but mostly I need to talk about dad. How is some random going to know everything that is going on. She doesn’t know me at all. How can she help me.

This is exactly what I don’t need right now. I didn’t cope when I lost my amazing GP I can’t lose my CM too. Especially when everything is so tough. I don’t know what to do. I’m losing everything and on top of that I could lose my dad too.

I AM NOT OK.

I am so STUPID!! I’ve just done something to myself that I haven’t done in a long time.

I hate myself!!! I’m so stupid

I’m so distressed. I have a headache. I feel sick. What else can turn my world upside down…. Tonight just feels way to much.

I'm soo sooo sorry @Captain24 . It sounds so hard tonight. I wish I could take that pain away from you.

I haven't been across about how your dad is. Anything you want to talk about? The last I remember was that he was waiting for a biopsy....

Please reach out if you feel you need to talk to someone tonight.

@Captain24

What did you do?

we all have weak moments. I break down at least 10-15 times a day.

you’re still not alone.

because of certain circumstances I still have to communicate with my ex to tie up loose ends with the business we had that she still runs and took from me, and sometimes when it’s important and I need a reply almost straight away, I instead have to wait till she’s free to respond because she’s with the guy she cheated on me with.

I try so hard not to down a full bottle of anything I can get my hands on till I don’t even remember my own name..

hang the f*** in there

it’ll pass

oh man, how many times I wanna do something stupid. But just ride it out. The pain in the moment doesn’t last.

the pain that others will carry if you listen to those voices will.

He has the biopsy done on the 31st @tyme. But I’m really scared of the outcome.

It was a really hard night last night. I had to put myself to bed before I did something even more stupid.

I don’t like change and don’t cope well with it. I don’t cope with new people either.

Im still really distressed this morning but I have to go to work. I don’t really think it’s the best place to be in my current mindset but I can’t have anytime off as I might need it with dad or an admission.

Good morning @Captain24

Hoping work goes ok for you and you are feeling a little better today.

Sitting with you hon 💗💗