I can’t cope

@Captain24 wishing you a good day today hon. I know you have lots of appointments today, so hoping you get through all of them ok. Take care 💗💗

I feel so selfish and inconsiderate. I’m a horrible person.

I’m pretty sure something is wrong with my CM’s mum. But I’m a little upset as I really need her right now. No one has checked in on me for 2 weeks. You would think one of the other nurses would check if mine is unavailable.

The psychiatrist report said I need to be monitored closely. I really need help right now.

My therapist app went well. We are coming to the end and she is trying to find my a psychologist. She has one where she practices out of. I’m hoping she can help my bypass the waiting list.

Just sitting in the GP office waiting for my app. I’m pretty anxious as I don’t know what the psychiatrist put in the notes for him.

To make my day even worse I got on the scales this morning and I’m disgusted in myself. I’m such a fat ugly blob. It really didn’t help in a day that I’m struggling so badly.

Thanks for reading if you got this far.

No need for support as I’m unworthy. Especially considering how selfish I am.

@Captain24 you are not selfish or unworthy hon. I know that those feelings are hard to control however.

I'm sorry you haven't been in contact with your CM, that must be difficult for you.

Am here with you hon through all of this. I hope your gp will be able to help.

My GP changed medications and I have to see him in a week. He also did up a MHCP with me and referred me to a psychologist. There hopefully isn’t much of a waiting list for her. This one only comes to town once a week so hopefully she doesn’t have a long list!

I’ve emailed another nurse at Community Health to let her know I’m not coping right now. I have seen her in the past. I didn’t ask for help outright but I’m hoping she can read between the lines

I have nothing left in the tank. It’s been a long rough day. I’ve change my last appointment to tomorrow as I just can’t face another one today.

I found out last night that the GP is pretty sure dad has prostate cancer. We are just waiting to see when he can get into the specialist.

I feel really broken and shattered. I don’t know how long I can keep doing this.

I just need to dump. I feel like it’s just all too much.

Dump away as much as you need @Captain24

Your gp sounds like a good one and hopefully the med change, the MHCP and a referral all works out for the better.

I'm sorry to hear about your dad hon. I hope something can be done for him.

Is there something nice you can do for yourself this afternoon?

He is pretty good @Snowie.

I have an appointment with the psychologist next Thursday. I’ve only seen a therapist so I’m not sure what to expect.

I haven’t heard from anyone at CH.

I’m starting to get really distressed. I’ve done the cold washer on my face and it hasn’t helped. I’m really struggling right now.

Im going to try and watch some tv and hope it distracts me. I need to cook dinner but I just can’t face it. I can’t face anything. My thoughts are just running wild through my head and I just can’t stop them or make any sense of them. It’s like one thought starts but before it’s finished another one starts. I know I’m not making any sense but that is what it’s like in my head.

I don’t know what to do.

Glad you have an appt. with the psychologist next week @Captain24

Hopefully they can help.

Watching tv might help. Have you tried writing all your thoughts down somewhere. I have done that before then thrown it away or you could put it in a draw somewhere.

I can understand the thoughts running wild. They just keep coming and don't stop. It is exhausting and tiring. There is no break at all from them.

How are your new pj's going?

I can’t write them down as I don’t know what they are. @Snowie.

My distress is out of control.

Masterchef isn’t calming me down.

My pjs are actually awesome. So comfy. You have converted me.

I hope that you connect really well with the psychologist @Captain24

and that you hear back from CH soon.

im sorry to read about your dad too. If it is cancer, I hope that they have caught it early enough and treatment is successful

Glad your pj's are comfy @Captain24

I don't watch masterchef but have been watching The 1% Club. Actually really good.

Would a shower help or maybe a bath? Put some calming music on.