I can’t cope

This is my first @tyme. I don’t want to do it anymore though. If I get through this I can’t do it again. If this is going to be common then I understand why bipolar has a high suicide rate.

I'm witnessing that too @Captain24 . And you are not the only one. It sounds like such a tough time for many. Hence now it's about working out a healthy baseline for you and going from there. I think having this understanding makes the whole thing less scary. Otherwise, you'll be thinking the worst and that there's no return.

We are with you.

I feel for so many on here @tyme. I’m not the only one. It seems to be quite a distressing time for many. I’ve been so self absorbed though that I haven’t been able to be there to support others. I’ve been pretty selfish.

Im not usually this low or for this long. That’s what is distressing. I thought I had a baseline back in January, for 3 weeks, but I haven’t been there since. So I don’t even know what my baseline is.

I feel so alone in this even though I know others are worse off than me.

Hey @Captain24 , It's not about being selfish. You are not selfish. What you are going through is very real. If anything, you have been so supportive of others even though you are having your own struggles. This in itself is commendable. @Captain24

Thanks. @tyme But I don’t see it. I don’t really see much right now though.

That other tread has me contemplating slipping away quietly. I won’t but the thought is there. Maybe it would be easier.

As a survival instinct, our thoughts can go all over the place @Captain24 . Anything to find an out. Yet we both know that it is not a solution to living a fulfilled life.

Allow those thoughts to come and see them as thoughts. Give Pix a hug and talk to her. She will understand.

Hi @Captain24

Wishing you a better day today 💜💜

I was feeling a little better, not much, but then mum rang and she was playing the ‘poor me’ card. Their house is basically falling down and unsafe. It’s bought me straight back down. Maybe if I end it they can move into my house and they would have a safe home.

@Captain24 my mum plays the 'poor me' card too. It is sometimes hard to ignore.

I know it is hard but that is their responsibility hon. I know how hard it is to step back however. They are our parents and we want them to have a good place to live.

You certainly deserve a safe place. You work hard for it.

I’ve worked hard all my life @Snowie. I’ve never been unemployed so I have been lucky. I shouldn’t be made feel guilty because I have a good job and a nice home. But they do it to me all the time. It’s poor them and poor my brother. I can’t afford a second mortgage to buy them a house and I feel really bad about it.

They have a way of crushing me all the time. This is why I have put some distance between us in the last 12 months.

I know that I’m completely different to the 3 of them. It’s like I don’t belong. I don’t belong anywhere. I think that’s where the loneliness I feel starts.