I can’t cope

Agree very much with @Bow - you are so worthy and deserving of support @Captain24 !!

Whether you're working hard or taking time to rest; whether you're struggling with your MH or you're making progress; whether you're having a good day, or the worst day ever - you always deserve kindness, compassion, and care.

It would be a tough decision to make, but also remember no matter the choice, you're doing the best you can to support yourself through really tough times. That makes you worthy of admiration in my books 💜

Sitting here waiting for my appointment with my CM. I’m really scared of the outcome of last nights email to her. I’m not ok and now she knows how bad it really is.

@Captain24 hope your meeting went ok 💜💜

My appointment was nearly 2 hrs. We mostly talked about general stuff. It did give me a little relief while I was there. So that was good. We did discuss my email and she is still really concerned about my ever dropping mood.

She said that she wouldn’t be at my psychiatrist appointment tomorrow. Someone else will be there instead and I probably won’t know them. How do I tell the psych how broken and shattered I am with a stranger there. That stranger may not back me up if the psych wants me scheduled.

Thats a long appointment @Captain24

I hope tomorrow goes ok for you.

Doing up my notes to take to the psych tomorrow has been really confronting. I have been in a really dark place for longer than I realised. It explains why I am so tired and why I have lost all hope of ever getting better. It’s broken me like never before. This isn’t a life. It isn’t even existing.

I can’t keep doing this anymore. I just feel there is no value at all in my life. I’m literally a waste of space. I’m not worth anything.

I don’t expect support, I’m not worthy of it. I just need a place to vent.

I hear that your condition is speaking and telling you that you are a waste of space @Captain24 .

Evidence tells me you are not a waste of space, and that you are such a valuable community member here. We really appreciate you.

And I'm sure Pix appreciates you too.

Look forward to your circuit breaker. In the meantime, we are hear to support you. I hear it is hard. Ride the waves. If you can't fight them, just let the carry you for now.

Hugs

The waves are tumbling me @tyme. They are rolling in too fast and I can’t catch my breath. I’m hoping that the psychiatrist tomorrow can be the lifeguard to save me.