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Something’s not right

I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

I can’t cope

Hi. I’m new and have never been in anything like this before.
I’m really struggling with depression at the moment and just need a place to vent.
there is no reason as to why I feel this way. I just hate myself and feel like I’m an unworthy and useless person. I don’t have a partner or many friends. I feel like I keep pushing them away when I’m down. I’m just not worthy of them. I hate life and just wish I would go to sleep and not wake up. I feel so much emotional pain inside but numb at the same time. None of this makes any sense but it just how I feel.

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In response to: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

I'm not really picking up more GS calls. I'm winding down, but because of my availability, I stretch it over a few days. @Captain24 .

As for work, does that mean you never know what you are doing until you get there? That would be so stressful for me!

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

No I don’t know until I check the board. @tyme. Is raining heavily out here so that’s going to make for a longer night.

Im heading in now. I hope you have a good night. Talk soon.

Thanks for tonight

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Hi @Captain24

I hope you got through your work shift ok and could come home and get some sleep.

Been thinking of you hon. Hoping today is a little better for you.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

I couldn’t finish my shift last night @Snowie. I ended up getting so tired that I was falling asleep while driving the truck. I don’t think my mood and bad sleep mixed well. I have slept a little better today so I’m hoping I make it through tonight. I don’t want to let my boss down again.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

Glad to hear you have slept a little better today @Captain24 Hopefully your night shift goes well tonight and that you can finish your shift.

It was probably better that you finished your shift early last night. Your safety is more important. Your boss probably knows that too.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24, it’s okay to step back to look after yourself, you come first. I’m glade you slept better today.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

Captain24Senior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

The truckers are so big that it’s really dangerous to be so tired. I could really hurt someone or worse.

@creative_writer @Snowie.

It’s the first time in 5 yrs that I’ve had to call up for being tired. My boss was really supportive and appreciated me calling him. He also knows about my MI and knew I wasn’t ok.

The last time I was this tired was when I had Covid. So I’ve just tested and so far it’s negative. I will check again tomorrow as I’m still tired even after sleeping well.

I do feel a little better mentally for it though. At least I am able to shower today! The SI is still there but at the moment it isn’t as bad.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

SnowieSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24 I am just impressed that you can drive a truck that big!

It sounds like you have a really supportive boss which is great.

Just having a shower is sometimes a huge accomplishment, so well done for that.

I hope your work tonight can free your mind, even if it is just for your shift. Sometimes that break from our own head can help us a lot.

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

creative_writerSenior Contributor

Re: I can’t cope

@Captain24, it’s awesome you have a supportive boss. A shower is a good small achievement 👏🏻, so proud of you. I hope you do start feeling better soon 🫂💖

In response to: Re: I can’t cope

tymeModerator

Re: I can’t cope

Hi @Captain24 ! @creative_writer !

@Captain24 , have you left for work yet?

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