I can’t cope

No sleep does that to you @tyme.

Hopefully you can sleep better tonight.

Did you get upto much today other than be grumpy? Lol

I ate pavlova and lots of it while in my grumpy mood @Captain24 .

I also went to the shops early in the morning (after being woken up at 6:30am) to pick up a parcel of 6 boxes of Squishmallows I had purchased for my niece and nephew's 'chore shop'.

The reason I bought 6 boxes was so that out of 4 Squishmallow 'designs'/editions, I thought I'd get at least one of each.... in the end, I got 6 all the same! I was so annoyed!

Because, with these online orders, there's no notes you can add to say what you want e.g. a different colour or pattern etc....

So guess what? tomorrow, I'm going to return all of them. All few hundred dollars worth!

That might be the end of online orders from now on.

Last week, I bought a foam glider for my nephew and wanted a certain colour but couldn't add these notes to the order... so i ended up with a blue one which I was willing to take.... but with 6 boxes of Squishmallows, that's over 36 of the same! I really don't need that many...

Eew pavlova @tyme. As long as you enjoyed it!

36 of the same is a bit too many! I don’t online shop very often.

I’ve had a productive day trying to keep my anxiety at bay. My day started early too. I followed the morning routine that the nurse gave me yesterday. She said to use the early wake ups to walk Pix then have a shower and breakfast.

I’ve walked Pix twice, went to the markets, did all the housework including dusting. Weeded the garden mowed the lawn. 2 loads of washing and ironed and packed it away. Plus I’ve had 2 showers after not showering for 2 days.

Hence I’m exhausted.

You deserve to be exhausted @Captain24 ! You did better than me - eating pavs all day!

Good on you for taking Pix out for a walk twice! Wow!

If you can do something like that each day, you will feel so much better.

Any plans tomorrow?

I going to try and stick to the morning routine @tyme. I’m hoping if I start my day structured it will help.

As for tomorrow I have to bath Pix, go grocery shopping and meal prep. Then I’m the afternoon I would love so chill time. I just need to be careful with it. I might do some diamond art, with music as I haven’t done it in a while.

Since I stopped my heart rate has gone up and the anxiety is back but I’m trying to bring it all under control with what I’ve learnt.

What are your plans for tomorrow?

I'm going to rest tomorrow. I think I have subconscious stress and same for my sister so it's affecting all of us. @Captain24

Remember how I told you about my brother-in-law? How he's really nice, but we have to be careful with him? Well he got let go from his job a few days ago and so i do worry about him and my sister and the kids.

I hope you are able to rest and ease the stress @tyme. I can understand why you are all stressed. That’s bad news about his job. Is he doing ok? I’m glad you are monitoring him.

I haven't even really spoken to him about it @Captain24 . I think I was too shocked and upset.

I'm not sure if he is stressed. He's a pretty chill guy. I think I worry more. I worry because I feel that if he does not have a job to occupy him, it may affect his mental health, which will then affect my sister, which then affects the kids and affects me....

I can see my sister is stressed. She's just not saying anything.

She could easily return to full time work and earn big bucks. But the fact is that my brother in law needs his mind simulated with work he loves.

Then, interstate, I've got my other brother in law who has been made redundant. But he doesn't care and neither does his wife (my other sister). They have so many houses and can live the rest of their lives without working. This brother in law is thinking of taking a few years off just to chill so he's not even looking for work. He takes the kids out soccer, cricket, swimming everyday. He does a lot around the house and loves it. So I'm not concerned about their family.

It’s all happening in your family @tyme. I’m so sorry.

Does he work in a profession that he can get another job? I understand the need for his MH. Work is what is getting me through.

I really hope things work out for him soon.

I get why you’re not sleeping and the stress affecting you both. I hope you two don’t take the stress out on each other.

He works in finance and is a mortgage broker @Captain24 . He loves his work. He can work for himself if he wanted to. So I'm not really sure what is happening at the moment. I haven't really taken the time to ask.

I want to do it when I'm calmer. Hence, I'm going to have a quiet day tomorrow. Just to unwind. My sister wanted to go out tomorrow evening and come back Monday since it's a long weekend here in VIC. I told her I didn't want to go because I wanted to have some quiet time. Then she made some hurtful comments....

By tomorrow, it'll be water off a duck's back.

I'll just wait and see how things unfold.

Sorry to put this on you. I really didn't mean to. Not my intention at all. I think it just came out....