I can’t cope

I'm sure it wasn't easy @Captain24 but at least you did it.

Sometimes it is just small steps forward and eventually they all combine to be a gigantic leap.

I am so so today. Had another difficult night. We went to a friends house for lunch for Australia Day. Luckily D had to work this afternoon so we didn't have to stay too long which worked out well for me. It is hard to keep up an act around others, pretending everything is fine.

Well done @Captain24 - that's great you did conquer and go out! I would love to hang out in the sun with a big brekkie. So lovely. Did you end up speaking to the cousin you saw? Does that mean you all live in the same area?

As for me today, after eating, I just went to a few shops to get coat hangers and stuff to sort my clothes out in my wardrobe. I need to iron so much. I still haven't done it. I'll get to it.

Do you think you'll call HR tomorrow?

I’m glad for your d @Snowie. The act is hard and tiring.

Sorry last night was tough. At least today is so so which is an up from last night.

Hopefully tonight isn’t as hard for you

Wow @Captain24 ! Thank you so much for sharing! They are such awesome photos! I reckon I could be lost in in awe amongst that awesome paradise of yours!

@Snowie Hi @Snowie , how's today been for you?

And @Captain24 , pushing yourself to do things is really an effort, yet the long term effects make such a huge difference.

However, it is about knowing how much your body can and cannot take. Start small and go slow.

Thanks @tyme It was huge being only 20 mins from home.

No I didn’t speak to her. She was with a group of people. She is actually my dads cousin. Both sets of my dads grandparents were born here and my mums family dates back to the aboriginals in the area. A lot of family have left but there is still plenty here from both sides!

I will email HR mid morning if I haven’t heard from her. I’m suppose to be on night shift tomorrow night. If she says I can start back I need to be sleep

prepped ready to go.

Aargh I hate ironing

I hear you @Snowie - the 'putting on a front' act is hard. It can really take its toll. I found that if I had to 'fake it' for too long, by the time I got home, I was absolutely exhausted.

Other times, for shorter occasions, fake it till you make it, works because it's for the sake of others.

But I certainly hear you @Snowie .

Hugs to you.

Surely, they won't tell you tomorrow and ask you to start in a few hours @Captain24 , would they?

But I do hope you hear from them soon. I absolutely understand how work is your protection!

They could @tyme. HR has never done a nightshift so has no idea how hard they are! Plus it’s the 3 nightshift one so it’s the hardest!

Im trying to do most of it via email so I have a traceable record if things go wrong.

If I don’t go back soon I’ll end up in a crisis, I’m getting pretty close to that now.

Work is my protective factor after Pix.

What did you have for dinner?

I wish I could call them up for you and just get things moving @Captain24 ! I guess I'm just naturally a bit too eager and just want to get things done!

Pixie home yet?

My niece wants a dog... I'm like "NO WAY!" I've had dogs, and I couldn't do it again. I get too worried about them - are they hot? are they cold? are they hungry? do they need a bath? do they have ticks? do they need their vax now?.... It was an anxiety I don't want to have again.

I used to make iceblocks for my dogs on hot days. I'd put treats in an icecream dish, fill it with water, and freeze it - then give it to the dogs on hot days.

When it was cold, I used to give them hot water bottles.... like, seriously? They are dogs? But that's how intense I get.

I understand if the dog was a breed susceptible to hot/cold, but these were large size self-sufficient dogs lol!

I don't think I could go back to owning another dog.

As for dinner, I haven't had it yet. I'll go downstairs soon and see what's there. Then I'll let you know.

Did you have dinner after having that big brekkie?