I can’t cope

Hey @Nala2022

Yeah had a few things going on!

This is how inconsiderate my dad is, I was in the shower washing my hair and dad decided he would wash his while I was in there. So I had no water pressure to wash the shampoo out of my hair.

We are heading in to the bay and have 2 walks that we haven’t done to try. Of course they are along the water! lol.

The beach mum walks to of a morning was flat. Mum said like a dam, there was no movement. I hope that changes when I head down this afternoon.

My back is killing me!!!

Dad just wants to sit around. He just wanted to do one walk and go back to the house. I didn’t pay all this money to just sit around.

How are you going?

@Nala2022 I'm watching the philosophers stone at the moment. I've just finished the phone call with my doctor, I couldn't tell him what happened last night but i did tell him how bad things are and the thoughts I've been having (I'm safe). I'm so tired now after doing those few things, going to lay on my lounge and snuggle with Casper, hoping i can nap.

Today was the overly great. I had a shower and was washing my hair. The water kept going cold and losing pressure. Turns out dad decided that it was the right time for him to wash his hair. How thoughtless. Just goes to show that he does t really care.

We went for one of the walks mum wanted to do but when we finished that dad just asked what was for lunch. Had no intention at all to go to the other walk that was along a beach. Pix isn’t a fan of that beach but Keiko loves it. But no..

Then we had lunch and I went to the beach. It was a really nice day and warmer than it has been. I walk down to the waters edge and this siren just started screaming. I didn’t know what it was. But then I figured it out and there was another shark. I sat in the beach and listen to the sound Avis like yesterday. It’s my only form of mindfulness that I can get. But after laying there for an hour they put out the shark sign and so I left. However I am a little red! Oops.

I went just jeans and meet after I cam back and got changed. Got myself a couple of shirts and just some kitchen stuff. I was nice to be out by myself.

Wr had Italian take away for dinner and then took the dogs for a walk. It was nice Pix

did a lot of running and it was awesome to see. Keiko took off so mum dropped the lead. She went screaming past me and I had to chase her. I was running on soft sand. She then went faster i pretended I was Usain Bolt and got to her lead before she took off into the sand dunes. It took me a minute or 2 to get my breath back! We went a little further and then made our way back.

I have plans for tomorrow but not sure it will happen. It’s our last day. I wish I could afford to come on my my own as there is so much that I want to do.

Im in bed now and going to try and get a good nights sleep

@MissGremlin @Jynx @AuntGlow @Nala2022 

Hey @Captain24

Sounds like you've had a bit of a mixed bag on your trip! That shower situation would have been so frustrating, especially when you're just trying to wash your hair.

I can understand feeling disappointed when there are walks you really want to do and you feel like you're missing out on things you were looking forward to

I'm glad you managed to get some time to yourself at the beach though. It sounds like listening to the waves is a really special way for you to practise mindfulness and find a bit of peace. What a fright having the shark siren go off again though! Hopefully you're not too sore from getting a bit sunburnt.

I also loved reading about Keiko taking off and you chasing her across the sand haha. I bet that was quite the workout! It's lovely that you got to see her having so much fun

I hope you manage to fit in some of the things you'd still like to do on your last day. Is there one walk or place you're most hoping to visit before you head home? 😊

Hey @MissGremlin

I'm glad you were able to speak with your doctor and let him know how bad things have been and the thoughts you've been having. I can imagine it wasn't easy to talk about, especially when you're feeling so exhausted.

How are you feeling today? Please keep reaching out for support when things feel difficult and remember you don't have to work through everything on your own

Be gentle with yourself today 💛

Morning @Nala2022, it was hard to talk about and he can't do anything to help.

I'm struggling today and feeling the effects of what I've done. I'm really questioning myself as to when what I'm doing crosses that line of being an attempt more than just trying to get sleep, especially with the thought process around it (I'm safe at the moment). I've just made a cuppa and I'm slowly trying to do my routine.

How are you doing sweet?

@MissGremlin I'm sorry things are feeling so hard today, especially after how difficult it was to talk to your GP

I can understand why you're questioning things after what happened, and you don't have to make sense of everything all at once. I'm glad you've made yourself a cuppa and are slowly working through your routine. Taking things one step at a time is enough for today

I'm glad you've let us know how you're feeling, and I hope you can be gentle with yourself today. You deserve support through this, and you don't have to navigate everything on your own

Thank you for asking how I'm doing too. That's really thoughtful of you. I'm about to make myself a cuppa as well 💛

@Nala2022 my GP sent through a referral yesterday to a psychology place and I've just received a message to say that they've got it, really hoping they can help me and I don't just get rejected again.

I'm back from my routine, I've done my dishes, taken the bins out and cleaned my bird out, now I'm about to make myself some tacos.

An update early as I’m not really happy.

This morning we went to the rocks where it usually crashing with waves but the surf is really gentle. I climb down to a rock pool and the dogs climbed all over the place. Pix got up rocks that I didn’t think she could. All three of them enjoyed them selves.

This is where I climbed it was pretty steep and there is more rocks at the top.

While we were up there we sure a whale going past. It was breaching. We walked down a different path than we came up. Mum stopped and I said that I didn’t think she would get down the step. Mum goes what about right in front of me.. I’m like huh, then I looked and it was a baby brown so I turned around and ran up the hill and we went down the normal way.

Then we took the dogs to the beach that Keiko loves. It was good, it was just me and mum as dad had gone to see his sister, The dogs ran a muck but Pix is now limping. We think she trod on a stick or something. One of her pads is extremely sore.

We were heading to the shopping centre to get lunch and the light was green there was no arrow. As we got to the light it turned orange and dad just turned right. I yelled at him to wait or the car coming would have plugged into him. He said the light was green. I told him it need to be and arrow and he got the shits. Went in and got lunch driving back to here a car pulled up in front of dad to reverse into their garage. Dad nearly ran up their arse, my response was well if you were going 50 it would be ok. Got the shits again! He was going 70 in a 50 zone. Now he has attitude.

I went down to the beach and the f’ing shark sign is back out again so I didn’t get a swim. I’m so disappointed. I didn’t get a decent swim the whole time I’ve been here. It’s probably a good thing for my bad sunburn but I didn’t care. I just wanted so mindfulness and fun on my own.

Now I’m sitting here waiting until it’s tome

to take the dogs for a walk and then the biggest stress of the day… dinner with my brother. We are going out but I really don’t want to breathe the same air as him.

That’s so far and the night isn’t even over.

@MissGremlin @Jynx @AuntGlow @Nala2022 

Hello @Captain24 sweet, I'm sorry that thy day really hasn't gone well. That's scary about the brown snake and a worry about Pix's paw, hoping it's feeling better for her after a rest but at least you've got the pram for her.

I really hope that you enjoy the walk with the dogs and that dinner with your brother goes ok. Thinking of you and sending you hugs sweet ❤️.