I can’t cope

I’m laying in bed where I have been since my psych appointment. I’ve gotten nowhere. I’ve done nothing. I still have everything to pack as I haven’t even started. I haven’t even gotten my suitcase out. I need to clean my house as well. I’m really struggling with all of this. I’m feeling under a lot of pressure but it’s not helping me. I’m just stuck in bed.

Im feeling really alone and lonely. I feel that life is just not worth it. All it is is pressure. I don’t want that, I can’t handle that. I’m just not coping with anything at all. My thoughts are pretty low and my urges are pretty strong. I’m safe but only because I go on holidays tomorrow if I ever get myself ready.

Hello @Captain24 sweet, I'm not staying on but i just wanted to say that I'm sorry you're struggling so much and that I haven't been around. Sending you lots of love and hugs, I hope you can enjoy your holiday ❤️

I think I need to talk. Not sure if I can though or where to turn to either. It scares me

@Captain24 I'm here for a bit if you want to talk sweet.

@Captain24 How many sleeps left till you're off to soothing beachland now?

I think taking your time to plan is a good plan, hehe. And you might be able to scoop up a deal of some sort if planning so far in advance! Do you know how long you'd like to be sailing for? I hope you don't get seasick!!

I'm doing well, enjoying the last patches of cool weather before summer truly sets in. I think you may not fully relate but I just love hoodie weather!!

I hear you on how stuck you're feeling. Sometimes we can get stuck even when we're preparing for something we're looking forward to! Pressure can be motivating, but it can also be paralysing.

I know sometimes just getting started is the hardest part. How would you feel about trying to just do a teensy bit, and see where you get to? Like sometimes it can help to say 'I will just do 5 minutes'. Five minutes can feel a lot more approachable than looking at everything left to do, all at once. Set a timer, and just see how you go with only five minutes of packing. Maybe try to picture yourself at the beach as you go, remind yourself of the good thing that you're preparing for.

Would that feel doable at the moment?

Also hiya @MissGremlin lovely to see you hun. Sending some pleasant vibes your way ^_^

Hello @Jynx, thankyou sweet ❤️.

I hope you're doing well and enjoying some sunshine as the weather is warming up ☺️.

Currently cold here @MissGremlin but I do like the in-between seasons the most! Autumn, then spring, then winter, and summer is the worst XD

@Jynx it's been warm here today and I'm not a fan 😂. Luckily inside my house is nice and cool so I only felt the heat when I went in the car.

I like the in-between seasons aswell but loathe summer! Hope the kitties have been giving you snuggles to keep warm ☺️.

I have just packed half my suitcase. All my clothes are done. @Jynx @MissGremlin

There is still so much to do but I’ve not long been out of bed. It hasn’t been motivating at all @Jynx just paralysing. The less time I have the more paralysing it is. But at least I have started. It did help that I rang mum to see if she needed me to fit any of her shit in my car. That’s when I started my clothes.

I think if I had cigarettes it would be easier. They calm me down and help me redirect my focus. Instead of not wanting to do anything that causes cravings which is everything because I didn’t do anything unless I had a smoke before and after.

Something that did help a little was the look on Pix’s face when I got the suitcase out! Her eyes nearly popped out of her head and she started wagging her tail!

Now I’m back sitting on the lounge. I need to have a shower and wash my hair so I can pack the hairdryer and shampoo and conditioner.

Yes.. we are opposites @Jynx! Love me a good shorts and singlet day! I hope you still get a bit more cooler weather down there. Just for you.

I head off in the morning so I have to do everything now. All the packing and the cleaning.

I think the cruise is 9 days, the one I’m looking at. I thought if I go through a travel agent I might get something extra, an upgrade or something. But I also want to try and book the port tours. If there is an intro scuba dive on the Great Barrier Reef I want to be in that group! Seeing the reef is a bucket list in its self but the scuba dive is the pinnacle of my bucket list!!! I really hope it’s an option. Snorkeling will do though.

Hey @MissGremlin

Ive missed you. I know you do t really want to be on here so I want to say thank you for jumping in. I guess you have been reading along! 😜

Im really hoping something has changed for the better on your front? Even a little. I have found sometimes just some time away from here where I’m not posting all the bad stuff everyday gives me a little separation between me and my thoughts