I can’t cope

@Captain24 I am working on the now, the past unfortunately has a big impact on the now, mainly the last 5ish years. I've already done short term supports but when they stop them I struggle again which is why I need long term support.

My past is why I am like I am. It’s hasn’t been smooth sailing either. But that’s something I’ll work on later. I need to fix the me right now. @MissGremlin

You have a lot to lose if you don’t work on yourself. I just thought something was better than nothing. I tried all sorts of things before I got diagnosed and pig in comm health. I do what ever I could.

Bug it’s your choice.

How did the routine go

@Captain24 i can understand that and it's the same for me. I try not to let the past affect me but as you'd know that's hard when there's Cptsd.

I know and it's why I have the things in place like doctors appointments every 2 weeks, the support worker, I had the counsellor etc. Believe me I've been trying to get support, I just get turned away from everywhere and that makes it hard.

The routine went ok, a little chaotic but I'm in bed now. I had to pick a new diamond art to start. How did you go at mum and dads?

It was good. We went to the pub for dinner then went back to their place for cake and I’m home and just fed the dogs. Now I’m getting ready for bed. I’m sick of needing so much sleep. At least I’m working on it. Just a slow process. @MissGremlin Im so full though that I feel sick. I didn’t eat anywhere near as much as I usually do.

At least you are resting now and have a new one to do. Are they there for the whole time?

@Captain24 I'm glad it was good, it sounds like a lovely night. I can understand being sick of needing so much sleep especially when not long ago you were dreading the days being over and it being bedtime. But those days will come around again, it's just a rough patch at the moment. That sick feeling when you've eaten too much is horrible, the needles must definitely be working.

Thursday they'll go back again, not sure for how long though.

Sorry I never replied earlier, I'm glad that the burns unit said that it's ok and that it's been redressed. I'm hoping it heals quickly for you sweet.

At least you will have sometime on your own @MissGremlin

I've only got tomorrow and I’m back to work. I’ve accomplished nothing this break other than sleep.

It’s all good. I thought that maybe I was lucky enough to do some damage but it is what it is. I need to come up with something else, another way.

Im in bed now so I’ll say good night. Hope tonight is a better night for you

@Captain24 your body clearly needed the rest sweet, i think you'll find the medications you've started are having an impact on that aswell.

Let's rephrase that and say that we need to find a healthy way to manage when things get like that.

I hope you can get a good sleep sweet, lots of love and hugs to you. Night night ❤️.

Hey @Captain24, it sounds like you were having a really rough time that day, especially seeing your psych appointment coming up and feeling so overwhelmed by everything

Please don’t ever think you’re not worth my time or that you’re taking me away from people who need support. You are worth checking in on, and you deserve support too.

I’m glad you have a psych who understands you and makes you feel safe and supported

I’m not sure how you’re feeling today, but I just wanted to check in and see how you’re going now. I hope things have eased even a little since a couple of days ago 💛

Hey @Nala2022

Sorry I’ve been in bed asleep since my psych appointment.

It has been tough. I cancelled my psych appointments as I couldn’t afford it but she really wanted to see me today and said I can pay her later when I can afford it.

Sunday got pretty bad I guess you could say. I had the urge that I wanted to really hurt myself. I planned it out to the minor details and then acted it out. I did end up having to go to hospital and get checked out. They just dressed it and I had to see the burns initially yesterday for an all clear.

I told my psych everything. She was really understanding and supportive. She is concerned though as I didn’t do calmly and feel so much better for it.

I’ve been extremely tired and depressed and have spent the majority of the time in bed. I’m not feeling great today either but I have a doctor appointment at 3 so I will have to get up soon.

How are you?

I’ve been sitting here at the doctors for 45 minutes. He just took the person that was after me in.

Im feeling realy anxious as my last few appointments haven’t gone well. He wasn’t very nice. I told my psych I wasn’t telling him what I didn’t my hand as I’m not sure how he will respond.

Im not sure how I’m feeling right now other than anxious. Now that I’ve been up and moving I don’t really need my bed as much. But I have to do stuff when I get home… work tomorrow 😢.. I didn’t even make lunches.