I can’t cope

I will do my best too @MissGremlin

I’ve just climbed into bed and going to try and get some sleep. I feeling a bit kinda high but depressed at the same time. It’s like I’m on a high but know the consequences are coming. Whether tomorrow or in a few weeks. Right now I dont care for them. Im not really sure how safe I actually am. I dont have any suicidal thoughts or urges though. I will be alive in the morning.

Im really hoping that neither of us are around to chat during the night.

Pixie is chucking a tantrum because she wants a belly rub! I wish we could share videos so you could see her tantrums and the way she carries on for dinner! When mum gets hear of a morning to feed her. Pix doesn’t greet them. She is standing at the fridge barking for them to give her her breakfast!

@Captain24 really hoping you can get some sleep sweet. I understand that high and the mixed feelings that come with it. I hope you can stay safe during the night, if you feel otherwise please try to reach out to someone even tag me here as I'm up and down during the night and I'll always reply.

Hoping that both of us can sleep through the night, you especially.

Haha Pix is such a character. Casper is sitting next to me pawing me to scratch his chest 😂. She knows what she wants when it comes to food 😂. Casper stands in the kitchen and barks at me when it's dinner time!

Night night sweetheart, lots of love and hugs to you ❤️.

I’m hoping I change my mind with how good it feels. It’s not healthy or safe @MissGremlin

Im still laying here with the dogs asleep listening to my thunderstorm white noise. I haven’t even put my mask on yet.

The top of my thumb is going numb!

Are you still doing your diamond art?

Oh gosh... that would have been so disheartening to experience. Do you remember the person you spoke to on the phone? I wonder if you could call back?

I am glad they will check-in on Wednesday, that's a definite positive. @MissGremlin

Can you let me know what the specific support you are needing is? I am just curious about what else might be out there for you. 🫶

Hi @AuntGlow 

@Captain24 I'm hoping that feeling changes but that high is usually what's there initially until the come down.

Listening to the thunderstorm noise sounds relaxing, it's ok to just lay there for a while.

Oh that's not good, but numb is better than pain i guess.

Yes I'm still sitting here doing my diamond art.

You mentioned yesterday that you're feeling more emotional and easily set off these days @Captain24. I am curious about what you feel may be impacting how you're feeling as of late? Are you noticing any specific patterns? 🫶

What did you end up doing to self-soothe?

Paris and London would be amazing! I have been to both and they are sooo beautiful. You would love the theatre there, it's magical. Would you ever save up for a trip?

Thank you, it was definitely a break I needed. 🥰

@AuntGlow I can't remember his name.

They will only ring to tell me what their supervisor has said and whether they will close off on me again.

I need long term support, preferably psychologist and psychiatrist. But I can't afford to pay anything and I'm limited to telehealth cos of my anxiety.

Have you looked into Someone Health before? I may have told you about them, but they have long term telehealth psychologists and access to financial hardship options: https://someone.health/financial-hardship

I think this could be really helpful to look into right now? 💛 @MissGremlin 

I know… I’m hoping that the fact that it’s only slightly that the come down will be slight too! Wishful thinking @MissGremlin

its not really sore anymore which is disappointing and scary. I guess it will be fine unfortunately.

It is relaxing other than the fact that I have a queen sized bed and I’m laying on the edge of it because I have 2 little furballs snuggled in the way! One is against my feet and the other is in the crook of my knees.

Does Casper get in the way when you are trying to sleep? If I move either one of them they growl at me! 😂