I can’t cope

@Captain24 yes she is, she's really not doing well. I wish I could be there with her.

I’m sorry she is struggling. Is it the med changes or physically being there? Or things just aren’t improving @MissGremlin 

@Captain24 both, but she's got chronic illnesses on top of mental health which is making things unbearable for her.

I’m sorry she is going through that. Med changes are hard enough. I was lucky I was in the right place when I had them changed in hospital. Everyone was supportive and I was checked in on more often. @MissGremlin

Im sorry you went through so much today and are needing to support someone as well. It must be tough.

Im thinking I may log off if thats ok. Are you ok enough for that? I’ve really got no words left.’

@Captain24 the mental health system certainly fails alot of us in many different ways.

Today was alot but I'm thankful that I didn't go through it alone. I've just sat in bed and I'm just letting my hair dry a bit before I lay down as it's still very wet.

Thankyou again sweetheart. Log off and get some much needed and deserved rest. Night night beautiful ❤️.

Tonight has been so hard, everytime I close my eyes it's like I'm having really scary hallucinations but I'm still awake so aware of it to some degree but unable to make it stop. Everything flashes by, it's all so fast, it races through and actually makes me feel nauseous cos I can't slow things down. Which then leads to the nightmare i just had where I was being physically sick in it right before waking up. Now I'm in a panic thinking that I'm going to be sick and seeing what happened in the nightmare over and over again. It's triggered my emetophobia so badly, I've taken an anti nausea tablet and I'm waiting to connect to a crisis service to talk things through and hopefully be able to calm things so I can get some more sleep. I'm safe and have Casper snuggled up with me.

Sorry it was a rough night @MissGremlin

Im really tired so I’ve just gone back to bed for a bit. Then it’s the kitchen, the floors and iron my work clothes. Then mum and dad will be around again at just before 4 to put my garbage bins out.

Hope you are coping with today.

Hello @Captain24 sweet, I've been sleeping all morning, I just have nothing in me at all. Everytime I sleep it's dreams and nightmares so I'm constantly waking up. I feel so spaced out at the moment, every movement feels weird, I still feel like I'm asleep (I'm safe).

How's things going for you?

Just talking…

I feeling a little down and unmotivated today. I haven’t done anything but tried to get the wet grass out of my bin with mum and dad. Then had a sleep.

I really have to get the kitchen and floors cleaned and iron my work clothes. Work is becoming a real problem. So is this ridiculous fatigue. I haven’t even bathed my dogs.

It’s like I’m slightly in the dysregulated window. I don’t have any thoughts at all other than I just want to sit and do nothing.

I need to be help accountable to get things done or it’s not going to happen until 4 in the morning. So I’m just going to use here. I don’t expect anything from anyone. Just doing this for myself.

By 1 I want the kitchen all sorted. Lunches made. Dishwasher unpacked and reloaded. Now that I’ve said this I want to stick to it as if someone is watching.

Hey @Captain24 I'm sorry to hear you're feeling a little down today

It sounds like the fatigue is making everything feel much harder today, so try not to beat yourself up for needing that sleep. You’ve still done something already, even if it doesn’t feel like much 💛

Hopefully by 1 you’ve managed to get the kitchen sorted and lunches made. One thing at a time, you’ve got this! 😊 Here for a couple more hours if you'd like to chat, no pressure either way lovely