I can’t cope

As much as it’s hard, you have to do it so you do. You don’t really have a choice that strength needs to be recognised you just crash again when you stop. @MissGremlin

Maybe just some boiled pasta would help you? It’s plain and not over stimulating.

I’ll see what happens later.

It’s really hard. She picked it in an instant. I think now that my head is in such a better space I have more skills to conquer it. Plus the confidence that I may actually be able too considering how far I have come. Coming this far has given me so much more confidence. I told her today that I was waiting for the crash but I’m not sure that there is going to be one for quite a while. Plus I know the warning signs and the steps to try and catch it and bring myself back

I’ve done the floors, I just now need to go and iron. When I get cleaning I wish I didn’t build such a big house! 😜 But at least it’s now clean and I don’t feel so bad. I’ve only got 5 things to iron and 6 things to wash up and they are half cutting boards so that’s not hard! I’ll be done in about 30 minutes! I should have gotten stuck into it sooner rather than sleeping when I got home from my appointment!

@Captain24 the crashing when I stop is hard. Even now in between putting pasta on and then waiting for it to boil things start to crash down.

My tummy feels empty, it's a horrible feeling but I have zero appetite, food actually makes me feel icky if I think about eating.

Being in a better place is definitely helpful when it comes to conquering it. Honestly I'm so happy that things are better for you, but i also know it's hard work that you've put in to get there.

Not much more to do then you will have a nice clean house. Haha the downside to having a big house, but the space is awesome 😂.

I get that. I get it totally. @MissGremlin.

Maybe just a little bit. It may help with everything else that’s going on. Just a little nourishment.

I haven’t done this dishes yet but the ironing is done. I’ll do the dishes when I figure out dinner!

I have worked really hard. Really damn hard. It hasn’t been an easy path. After everything I’ve been through and how hard I’ve worked I feel like I deserve this. Right now I’m feeling really good about myself. That’s new. I told my psych that I get disappointed when it starts to get dark because I have to close the blinds and front door. But also because it means the day is ending. That my days aren’t long enough. She cheered. It was only a couple of months ago that I dreaded days and just wish I was asleep. She asked me about suicidal thoughts and I said none! She also asked me last week what I weighed and I had no idea, so I checked this morning and told her. That is a massive ED step as well.

Sorry for talking about good things but I don’t have anyone else. You have helped me through it all as well. I just wish I had someone else so I didn’t make it so much harder on you.

@Captain24 I tried to eat a little bit but I couldn't 😞. My head feels really fuzzy, like I'm spaced out but keep getting head spins (I'm safe).

I know how hard you've been working. It makes me so happy to hear how well things are going for you, so never be afraid to share about it. Not having those thoughts is fantastic! That is definitely a massive ED step, I'm so incredibly proud of you sweetheart.

You don't make it hard on me sweet, it helps to hear that improvement is possible even if I'm not there yet.

Maybe some toast or something? Not eating could be the cause of the dizziness @MissGremlin

Ive decided on dinner. Be careful not to fall over…… I’m having chicken schnitzel and veggies!

Plus I’m actually sitting and watch tv! I also did my dishes as they were annoying me!

@Captain24 it's not that sort of dizziness, i think it's from meds.

Oohhhh that sounds so yummy and very healthy 😋.

I'm glad you're sitting down watching TV and well done for doing the dishes, I just finished doing all mine. Currently doing a puzzle with certain people.

Oh. Ok @MissGremlin Too many?

It was good. Something different. We have a butcher shop here that does all sorts of filo pastry things so when I have money I’m going to buy a couple and they can be that weeks dinner.

Ove just put a salted caramel tart in the oven. It takes 30 minutes and I haven’t tried it before. I’m not really hungry but I found it in the freezer!

A puzzle together sounds good. Glad all your dishes are done! Mine are all in the dishwasher!

Im just going to sit and watch tv until I’m tired and ready for bed!

@Captain24

The filo pastry things sounds so good!

I hope the salted caramel tart is yummy 😋.

It was good until it got crazy 😂.

Sitting and watching TV until you're ready for bed sounds good.

I’m sorry @MissGremlin

they are good just expensive. It’s an occasional thing but I have them with veggies so it’s a good thing.

the tart was really good. I burnt my youngest in the filling though!

I feeling pretty good inside for what I’ve eaten. It’s not something I’ll eat everyday. But it was good. I need to go slowly!

@Captain24 it's good to have those occasional foods and having veggies with them is a bonus.

Oh ouch, there's nothing worse than burning your tongue.

I'm glad you're feeling good inside, you're doing so well sweet.