I can’t cope

Yeah it’s the best! I can put it on low, medium or high fan settings, and it has a timer too, which is handy just in case I fall asleep and it runs out of water

That is very annoying though, hopefully they don’t have the music blasting all day! I’ve never watched Angel before, but I love the Buffy series. Which one do you prefer, @MissGremlin? 😊

@Captain24 that's a huge thing being able to hear your psychs voice in your head, I know this is far from easy but you're still trying to find ways to get through and that's something to be incredibly proud of.

I'm sure your friend will really appreciate you messaging her, losing loved ones is never easy especially when you're with them until the end.

That's great that you've messaged your uncle, hopefully he gets back to you soon. It very well could be perimenopause, something to bring up with your doctor when you talk to him next.

I completely understand, but know that you've already taken several steps to move forward with this so maybe right now it's time to accept that you've done those things and to wait to see what comes of it all.

I'm happy to be here with you sweet and glad that we can do diamond art together ☺️.

Oohhhh yay for having lots of music to listen to!

@Nala2022 that's definitely very handy!

I'm hoping they don't, it's so ridiculously loud. I like both of them so couldn't pick between the 2, from season 4 of Buffy you basically watch them together and alternate episodes between the 2.

Thanks for that as I know it was really close to boundaries. I tried to be as careful as I could be. @Nala2022

I have worked to hard to lose it all over one phone call. I need to try my hardest. If I give in and have a nap this afternoon I’ll be gentle. At least I will know that I gave it my best shot.

It was traumatic watching the final moments but we had already basically grieved nan as for the last year we had kinda lost her anyway. I was with community health then and they supported me through it. I’ll bring it up with my psych though as I don’t think she knows and I need that memory to slip back into the background.

My autism wants everything planned out and no uncertainty. I’m very analytical though and have to work things through with as much knowledge as I can get. As quickly as I can.

I told my psych that I just roll my eyes when I hear her in my head! 😂 @MissGremlin

I am trying really hard. I need to go through a lot with my GP. My friend that lost her nan is on a different injection to my other friend, so I’d like to pick her brains too. She actually already recommended them to me. I just can’t ask her about them now for obvious reasons. I have to have an ultrasound and go back to my GP when my results come through so I’ll try and have lunch with her before I go to that appointment and quiz her then.

My uncle just rang. He said the best thing he did was go on the machine. He was very careful but tried to say I need to lose weight. I butted in and told him I knew I was overweight and that it’s ok to talk about. So I’m pretty sure I have made my decision about the machine. Just the cost.

Im going to go back to my diamond art now. I feel like thats one thing sorted and easier to settle.

I’ve got a good family on one side

@Captain24 haha love it 😂.

I know you are and you're doing well sweet. It's ok to wait until you ask her about them, whenever feels right given what she's got going on at the moment.

I'm glad you were able to talk to your uncle and it sounds like the machine has been so helpful for him, given that you stop breathing i think it would definitely help you especially to get a quality night's sleep. Not getting enough rest impacts our whole body, including our digestive system.

I'm glad it feels a bit easier to settle now that one thing is sorted, just one step at a time sweet ❤️.

I’m going to try and focus on the sleep machine first. I can’t do anything about the other stuff until I see my doctor and dietitian. I can try and start eating better but whatever I eat won’t be good enough for my dietitian. That’ll be a slow process though. I kind of need to take it one step at a time with that. @MissGremlin If I overwhelm myself I’ll fall in a heap and fail badly.

When I finish this section I’ll be halfway! I sat up last night after getting into trouble and finished the section I was doing. I was really depressed and down and so upset about the recovery focused thing when they obviously ignored everything iv been doing and trying to keep myself where I was. That really hurt. So I punished myself by not going to bed

Me too, it's so frustrating when you want a relaxing and quiet ay and all you can hear is someone else's loud music. I might have to give Angel a watch too! They were also going to reboot Buffy, but sadly it didn’t end up going ahead @MissGremlin 

@Captain24 that sounds like a really good plan sweet. Even just changing small things in your diet can help and it's definitely a step in the right direction. Taking it one step at a time is a much better approach rather then ending up overwhelmed and falling into a heap.

Oohhh yay for being half way! I can understand the hurt when you got in trouble but know that your efforts are still very much seen and recognised. We all slip up at times with the recovery focused posting, especially when we're spiralling. Try to be gentle with yourself today sweet ❤️.

You’ve worked really hard, and one difficult appointment doesn’t undo all of that. And if you do need a nap this afternoon, that doesn’t mean you’ve given in or failed, sometimes resting is part of taking care of yourself too @Captain24 💛

I’m glad you had support from community health when you were going through such a difficult time with your Nan. I think bringing it up with your psych is a really good idea, especially if you feel like the memory is coming back to the forefront more than you’d like

I can also understand why the uncertainty would be particularly difficult when you like to have things planned and understand everything as quickly as possible. It sounds like you’re trying to gather as much information as you can, so you feel more prepared and in control, which makes a lot of sense and is valid 💛