I can’t cope

@Captain24 I'm really glad you got it out and it helps to understand where things are at for you.

It's ok that you had a lay down, try to be gentle with yourself about it, your body needed it. I'm so proud of you for having a shower and getting dressed, I know it wasn't easy but you've done in, well done sweet.

That's awesome that you've got an appointment on Monday, really hoping you can get some more help/advice about this. I know it's alot but your mum wouldn't offer is she wasn't wanting to help you sweet, just food for thought there it's completely up to you.

Glad you've got a couple of friends on them so you can talk to them about it when the times right.

Putting some music on and doing some diamond art sounds wonderful, I'm about to do some diamond art aswell ☺️. Hopefully you can enjoy some sunshine today, I know how much it helps you feel grounded.

It's ok to not be ok, these aren't easy things to hear or process. Maybe for right now it's just a matter of accepting that there's a problem but that you don't need to fix everything immediately, it's ok to take things one step at a time. You've already made an appointment, that's the first step, you're going to message your friend on Monday, that's another step. Just slowly and gently sweet ❤️

Thankyou @Nala2022 sweet, I'll do my best to ❤️.

It really is the perfect combination ☺️. Oh when the aircons decide the perfect time to stop working is in 40⁰ weather on a weekend!

Maybe I'll just have to search my house for my copy, and that's a big maybe 😂. I remember the last place I saw it but it's vanished, maybe a book fairy took it 😂.

I’m really glad you shared it rather than keeping everything bottled up @Captain24. Even though you’re not feeling much better right now, you still got yourself up, and did all of those things, that’s something to give yourself credit for, not beat yourself up about 💛

It sounds like you’ve got some good things planned for today too, with your mum, some music, diamond art and hopefully a little sunshine. Take it gently and just focus on getting through today.

I completely understand why those words about your weight are stuck on a loop. Please remember that what your GP said doesn’t define you, and you don’t have to make his voice your own. You’re doing your best while dealing with a lot, and that deserves compassion, not criticism 💛

Trying your best is completely enough @MissGremlin 💛

Oh that’s the worst! I hope that doesn’t happen to you this summer. If only it didn’t cost so much to have the aircon running all day and night!

Haha well happy hunting if you do decide to look for it 😂 That happens to me all the time too, things just seem to disappear! There must be some weird magic at play I swear lol

@Nala2022 I'm hoping it doesn't, it will get serviced soon before summer. Bonus about the evaporative is that they are cheaper to run, mine often runs for days at a time.

Haha there's definitely some magic at play when it comes to things going missing. Like I know where I left it but it's just vanished into thin air 😂.

Thanks for letting me share it @Nala2022. I know it was rocky ground and could be triggering for some people. I don’t mind if you feel the need to delete. I’m ok with that as I just wanted to get it out and that you both saw it understand me a little better today.

I have done them even though I didn’t want to. My psychs voice was in my head telling me that I need to do those things to take care of myself. Her voice is in my head a lot! 😜

I just did something really nice for a friend. I messaged her to check in and see how she was going after losing her Nan. I have a feeling she was there at the last moments. That is really hard and something she will never forget. My nan died a couple of years ago and I was there until the end and I was really close to her as well. When her dementia got bad I was the only one that could bring her out of an episode. Or get her in the car when she took off. She remembered me after she forgot her husband. I was the second last that she remembered and mum was the last.

Im trying to turn them around. It’s hard though as I am really overweight and judge myself badly for it. I am ashamed of myself before he even said it. So it kinda confirmed how bad I am. It was a trigger that has made me realise is true. But I’m trying to focus on how I can fix things. I also messaged my uncle about his CPAP machine. How it goes for him and how and if it helped him at work. He did the same job I do but just at a different mine. He is also 18!years older then me.

That’s good, hopefully the service helps keep it running all summer without any issues! Ours is a split system, so I think they’re a bit more expensive to run. I ended up buying a small evaporative cooler from Kmart for my bedroom, I can even add ice cubes which saves me from melting 😂

It’s so frustrating, especially when you know exactly where you left something but somehow it’s just not there anymore! 😂

@Nala2022 fingers crossed. Oh those ones you can put Ice cubes in can be so good!

Haha exactly right! Oh well it's around here somewhere 😂.

Someone is blasting music around me and the bass is really loud, it's rather annoying when I'm just trying to relax while watching Angel and doing diamond art.

It wasn’t easy at all but I had my psychs voice in my head and I can hear her saying that she is proud of me @MissGremlin I can hear her saying that I’m still trying even when I want to give up. It’s actually something she will probably cheer about when I tell her.

I was just a really nice friend and sent my friend a message just checking in on how she was after her Nan died. She has friends but I don’t think she really has many close friends that would check. Maybe me and one other.

I messaged my uncle about his machine as he has sleep apnea as well and work the same job as me just at a different mine site. Just waiting to hear back from him. I have an aunty as well but she just mumbles and talks shit so I won’t get any sense out of her!

Dad also said when he was in hormone injections with his prostate cancer that they made him extra tired. So he is thinking it could also be perimenopause. The hormone injections were oestrogen so it put him into a form of menopause.

It’s a hard one as I need everything fixed now to enable my sleep and health get fixed. So I have some decisions to make. It’s just all running around in my head right now. I have that need with the Austrian to have things under control or at least a guideline. It’s just a lot to take in all at once.

Let’s do diamond art together I’m struggling to get into it. I need a friend with me.

I went through Apple Music and found a 90’s hits playlist so I’ve added the ones I know to my play playlist and a 00’s one and added a lot of them too so I have different music to listen too on this list. There is over 6 hours of music on it so ages before repeats.

Of course @Captain24. I don’t feel it warrants removal, and I’ve put trigger warnings in the appropriate sections. I’m glad you were able to share it and get it out rather than keeping it all inside.

Even though you didn’t want to do those things, the fact that you did them anyway is a testament to your strength. And it’s also okay if there are days where you can’t do everything, sometimes we just don’t have it in us, and that’s okay too 💛

I think it’s really lovely that you checked in on your friend, and that you’re able to empathise with what she’s going through because of your own experience with your Nan. I’m so sorry you lost her, especially after being so close to her and supporting her through her dementia. That must have been incredibly painful ☹️

I can understand why what your GP said has brought up those feelings you already had about yourself, but please try to be kind to yourself through all of this. You don’t need to punish yourself or fix everything at once. You’re already taking positive steps by reaching out, asking questions and looking for ways to take care of yourself 💛

And messaging your uncle about his CPAP sounds like another really good step, it sounds like you’re gathering information and trying to work out what might help you, rather than just giving up. I hope you get some helpful answers from him too 😊