I can’t cope

I’m really sorry you’re having such a difficult time @Captain24. It sounds like that conversation with your GP was incredibly upsetting, especially when you were already dealing with so much, and I can understand why it has left you feeling so overwhelmed. Thank you for trusting us enough to share what’s been going on, I know that probably wasn’t easy to write out.

It sounds like having your mum there for the chemist appointment could be really helpful too, especially when you’re feeling so overwhelmed. And it’s lovely that she’s supporting you through this

I’ve also added trigger warnings to your post, but for some reason, it has split the warnings into three separate parts rather than displaying them together, I’m not sure why it’s done that

For now, please be gentle with yourself. You’re not lazy or failing, you’re having a really hard time, and it’s okay to take things one step at a time. If things start to feel worse, please reach out to crisis support or someone you trust. You don’t have to carry all of this on your own 💛

Morning @Captain24 sweet, I'm sorry this has brought up so much, especially as things were just starting to get better. But we're going to get through this and I'll be here every step of the way ❤️.

Making an appointment with the chemist sounds like a great idea and taking mum with you would help not just for her input but also to have the support there. A dietician would be helpful aswell as they can help with what foods to eat or avoid. I'm so glad that your mum is being supportive as you need and deserve that so much at the moment.

I know actually hearing those words hurts so much even if we already know it. I'm really glad you've had breakfast and opened up the house. It's ok that you aren't ready to shower just yet, yes it may be a warning sign but it's also expected to have alot of feelings/thoughts after your appointment yesterday which can then make doing the simple tasks hard. Let's take today slowly sweet, just one little moment at a time. Sending lots of love and hugs ❤️.

That’s so cute 😂 Nothing better than when our little companions greet us when we come home. Casper does sound like he has a big personality!

I hope the results are what you’re hoping for @MissGremlin. Hopefully as you get used to the medication over the next few days and weeks, you start noticing some positive changes too. I’m sorry you’re feeling so nauseous today though ☹️ That’s such an awful feeling, especially when it makes you anxious about being sick. Hopefully it settles soon. Maybe some peppermint tea or plain salty crackers might help a little? Just take it easy and have small sips of water when you can

I hope you’re nice and rugged up in bed and can start to feel a little more relaxed ☺️

Thank you! I love reading but stopped for a while, so I’m really glad I’m getting back into it. I’m reading Verity again at the moment, the movie comes out in October. I’m so excited!

@Nala2022 coming home to a dog is honestly the best, it doesn't matter how long you've been gone they are always so excited to see you.

Really just need answers as to why I struggle to get sleep and when I do why I'm still so exhausted, waking up every few minutes in panic is ridiculous. I'm hoping this medication helps, I get so disheartened everytime I try and they don't help, it feels like I'm doomed to just constantly suffer. The nausea is honestly horrible, I'll definitely sip water throughout the day and I'll see how I go with eating something later but I'm not hungry yet.

The weather here yesterday was crazy, it got to 21⁰, I walked outside and quickly retreated back inside, I don't like the warmth 😂. It's going to be the same again today, think I'll be hiding inside other than having to go to the shops at some stage.

I was reading at one stage before bed, I have the twisted tales books. I struggle with comprehension so reading books that are movies helps as I already know the storyline so can follow along better. Verity sounds very interesting, I just had a quick read about it, it's very exciting that there's a movie coming out ☺️.

I agree, and it’s so comforting coming home to them 😊

I can understand that @MissGremlin, and I really hope you do find some answers soon. You deserve to have better nights of sleep and not have to wake up feeling so panicked. I know it must feel disheartening when you’ve tried so many different things and haven’t had the results you were hoping for, but what I see here is someone who isn’t giving up on advocating for herself. You’re still trying to find answers and keep going despite how difficult it’s been, and that takes a lot of strength

See how you go with eating, there’s no need to force yourself if you’re not feeling hungry. Hopefully the nausea settles down soon

I’m the same, I much prefer the cold! I already get hot easily, so I feel like I melt when the weather gets warmer 😂

I haven’t read the Twisted Tales books, but they sound interesting! Do you have any preferred genres? I usually read psychological thrillers and crime, and sometimes romance when I need a break from the more intense novels 😂

Me too! The trailer looks really good. I’m excited to see how they bring it to life on screen! ☺️

@Nala2022 it's definitely so comforting. It was horrible when I had no dog to come home to, I'd gone from having 3, to 2 then back to 3, then to 1 and then none. My house truly felt empty.

Thankyou sweet ❤️. I'm trying so hard to keep pushing through, just hoping that something gives me some relief.

I'm hoping it settles, it's just such an icky feeling.

Totally relate to that melting feeling 😂. It's easy to wear lots of layers to warm up when it's cold but you can only take so much off when it's hot before or becomes illegal 😂.

I don't have any preferred genres, I'm just all over the place with what I read/watch. Haha romance when you need a break from the more intense novels 😂. I was reading the 5 languages of love book at one stage but I've misplaced it, i wanted to finish reading it.

Hopefully it's good when it comes out ☺️.

I can imagine @MissGremlin, it really doesn’t feel the same without them

I really hope something gives you some relief too. You’re trying so hard and doing your best to keep pushing through, so try to hang in there lovely

Hahaha I know! I love rugging up in winter, but in summer there’s only so much you can take off, you just have to hope you’ve got good air conditioning!

That’s alright then, you get a bit of everything! Haha yeah some romance novels are actually pretty decent. Oh no, that’s a shame you misplaced it! Is it expensive to buy another copy? If you don’t mind second hand copies, the Vinted app is free and has heaps of books, with most people selling them pretty cheap 😊

Thankyou @Nala2022 sweet ❤️. I'm doing my best to keep hanging in there, some days are harder than others though.

There's nothing like a nice soft oodie or blanket when it's freezing cold, plus i love cuddling up to Casper. My aircon is evaporative so whilst it's helpful most of the time, even it's humid it struggles.

I've never really read a romance novel but there's bits of romance in my twisted tales books. I was lucky to find my copy in a second hand shop but I struggle to go to them now. I've looked online and it's about $15 for a second hand one which I just can't justify at the moment.

Hey @Nala2022 @MissGremlin

Iy was hard to write but actually felt good to get it out there so that you can understand how I’m feeling right now. Rather than cryptic stuff.

I had a lay down. But beat myself up for it. I didn’t want to shower as I couldn’t be bothered but I made myself do it and put clean clothes and put shoes on for my ankle support. I kept trying to tell myself that I’ll feel better. I don’t really but at least I did it.

I rang mum and asked if she was free on Monday and she is. We have an appointment at the chemist at 12:00 to see what to do from there. I don’t want her to help pay as this could cost me nearly $2000 from what I’ve seen.

I have a friend in injections and she is away at the moment so I will message her on Monday and question her. I have another friend on a different kind but her grandmother died and I don’t want to hassle her.

Im going to put some music on and try and do diamond art. It’s only suppose to reach 19 degrees today but I will try and sit out in the sun for a bit too. I have a tracksuit on so hopefully it’ll be fine. I can’t walk the dogs though because of my sprained ankle.

Im just really not ok today but I’m trying. It’s really disheartening that on appointment can undo me so badly and quickly. This is where I now need to learn how to figure out how to put what he said about my weight to the side and not ruminate about it. It is on a constant loop in my head. I can hear it in his voice not my own.

You’re doing your best, and that’s enough @MissGremlin. Some days are definitely harder than others, so just take things one day at a time and be gentle with yourself

An oodie, a blanket and cuddles with Casper sounds like the perfect winter combination 😂💛 I can imagine evaporative aircon would struggle when it’s humid though! There’s nothing worse than an aircon that decides to give up when you need it most.

I completely understand not being able to justify $15 at the moment, especially when there are other things that need to come first. Hopefully you stumble across another cheap copy somewhere when the time is right 💛