I can’t cope

This has been going on for nearly two weeks. @Paperdaisy. I have been keeping busy but I’m starting to run out of things to do. The pantry is organised, linen closet, all the built ins in the 3 spare rooms, my walk-in. Im half way through mowing lawns that didn’t need to be mowed! I don’t know what else to do. Im really starting to stress out. Sorry for over reacting but it’s what’s going through my head.

I hear you @Captain24 it's a stressful time. You're managing as best you can. Hopefully things will be resolved soon enough.

Going to bed wishing I wasn’t here anymore.

I am safe.

Hi @Captain24

Sounds like it was a good plan to get rid of your irritability through mowing lol. I often clean when I'm stressed. When I'm calm my house isn't as clean as when I'm stressed lol.

My weekend was nice. Husband and I went out for lunch on Sunday which was delicious. I also got a nice phone call from my son who is currently living in Japan. He's been so busy snowboarding and working at the ski resort that he hasn't had much time to call so it was really nice to hear from him.

Hope your day is nice. Hopefully will see you around later today, if not see you Friday.

Hanami

Hi @hanami

Im so glad you got to hear from your son. It sounds like an awesome experience for him. Heading out to lunch is always nice. I did that on Friday for the first time in a very long time. Sounds like a lovely weekend.

Im the opposite. You can usually tell my mood by my house. If it’s getting messy I’m not ok. If it’s clean I’m good. Except

for now. I’m just trying to keep busy. All I have left to sort is the cupboard under the laundry tub. Eeew

As soon as the sun hits the side of my yard that’s not done I’ll go and finish it. Then this afternoon I have an appointment with my nurse to go through what I need to tell the psychiatrist on Friday. Im just concerned as to what information he is going to get from my psychiatrist and GP.

I’ve started making notes of my warning signs. I’ve discovered that I have some! Oops. I need to try and fix that asap. I need to be in a really good headspace on Friday!

So I had a meeting with my nurse today. She has been in contact with my psychiatrist and she has released my information to the work psychiatrist. She believes that I’m safe to work and that’s her recommendation. She is sure that the psychiatrist will see that.

I was talking to the HR manager that’s now dealing with this. Apparently if I fail they will find work that the psychiatrist recommends. I hope she is right. It has eased my stress a little.

I did cry when I was with my nurse though. It’s the first time she has ever seen me like that. Im so embarrassed but it was all the stress I’m under. I am ashamed.

So I went shopping and ran into my Aunty who I haven’t seen in a long time. We got chatting and she said that her sons mental health is really bad right now. I started to ask questions and she was a little cagey. Then I said that I’m bipolar have social phobia and anxiety. She was like so has he. I find it interesting that my cousin has the same illnesses as me.

I HATE bipolar! If it wasn’t for this illness I wouldn’t be stressed now. I’d be asleep for nightshift tonight

@Captain24 I feel YOU, I've been feeling a bit that way too. I bet it's pretty crap worrying about not being rested enough for nightshift.

I'm just catching up, but I'm guessing this means work accepted your Fit to Work certificate?

is there anything you've done before to get some rest in when you're feeling a bit this way?

No I’m still suspended @Former-Member. I have my psych assessment tomorrow.

I wish I had nightshift. That would mean this is all over and I wouldn’t be so stressed right now. But instead I’ve had to do notes for tomorrow and had to reread everything from the last 7 months. It wasn’t pleasant going back