I can’t cope

@Captain24 I really wish I could sleep and you could get quality sleep. It's ok if you need to go to sleep sweet, i want you to be able to get enough rest.

I love listening to the rain, it's so relaxing.

It’s ok @MissGremlin. you can have me a little while longer. But you’ll be going to bed soon too. My dogs are already there and waiting! 😜 Pix usually comes and gets me. She is use to the whole feeding then going to bed routine! Jett just follows along. Pix will be laying where I lay though. She has to lay right in the way and is stubborn so won’t move. When she plants her body down she is really strong. It’s hard to move her and it’s priceless as she growls at me like she is going to attack and I just laugh at her and it makes her angrier!

@Captain24 thankyou so much for being here with me sweet, it really means alot to me. I'm already ready for bed, just need to wait so that I can actually get into bed. Haha Pix is such a funny girl, very stubborn too 😂. When they flop their weight down there's honestly no budging them 😂.

Casper caught sight of the rat that's in my house before, he was trying to find it but had no luck.

It’s All good. I’m doing my best. @MissGremlin. At least you are ready so all you have to do is get in. I still need to have a shower but I do that right before bed and get straight in.

They are funny. Pix certainly has her own mind and does what she wants to do. She has always been stubborn even from a pup!

@Captain24 I'm about to take Casper out to the toilet and then hop into bed. Did you get the section of diamond art finished?

I love how they all have such different and unique personalities.

Ok… I’m done. I’m awake now but when I have my shower I won’t be @MissGremlin. It’s nearly time that you can go to bed. I have finished the section I wanted to finish and done the first colour on the next one. This section is a bit harder though and will take a lot longer. I won’t get it finished tomorrow as I have a couple of things to do but I will finish it Sunday!

I really hope some sleep finds you tonight.

Thinking of you.

@Captain24 I'm awake now which worries me cos I really need to be able to sleep. You did so well to finish that section and start the next. Thankyou so much for staying up with me sweet. Hope you can get a really good night's sleep, lots of love and hugs to you ❤️.

This really is too much, I need sleep but I'm not able to get it 😞. I'm feeling so frustrated and also scared, my body is a mess, I'm having hallucinations from the lack of sleep, it's hard to know what's real and what's not. In the past 4 days I've only managed to get about 7 hours of sleep all up.

I don't know what's wrong with me, why i can't sleep but it's really upsetting me. My thoughts get too strong and I'm exhausted from the lack of sleep so I struggle to fight them and at times I don't want to cos I've just had enough of things being like this. I dozed off for about 5 minutes before waking up in a panic and now I'm trying to calm myself down in the hopes that I'm able to get some sleep.

If I can't get sleep then I'm scared what will happen, I've been trying everything, doing calming things before bed, my usual routine, not napping during the day but nothing makes a difference. I'm safe for now, snuggled in bed with Casper and I'm trying to connect to a service to talk. I just needed to get this out and to not sit alone right now.

Sorry about your sleep @MissGremlin I don’t know what else to say.

I’ve been grocery shopping and unpacked it all! It was a lot and expensive! I got most of what I wanted but there was one thing they didn’t have.

Im about to go out again and go to the chemist, vet and get fuel! Then that’s all I have to do that involves leaving the house! Yay!

How is your day going?

Morning @Captain24 sweet, well done for getting the shopping done and all packed away. That sucks not being about to get one thing that you wanted though.

Hope the next trip out goes smoothly for you.

Things are really feeling so heavy, I don't want to be awake, I'm so tired. I don't want to face the day but I somehow have to manage going to the shops later. I'm safe for now, laying in bed with Casper.