I can’t cope

I’m really sorry it’s still feeling so overwhelming today @MissGremlin 😞

I’m glad you’re continuing to take things moment by moment, and you’ve actually managed to get quite a few things done despite how difficult things feel today

Try not to be too hard on yourself for getting distracted, you’re doing your best in a really hard moment 💛

Hey Queen! I am floating around for a little bit today. It sounds like you're doing a beautiful job of taking care of yourself. I know things are feeling vulnerable right now, but know that we are here for you. I wonder, what is one small thing you could do today that might bring you joy? @MissGremlin

Also, hello lovely! @Captain24 Just catching up on messages now. 💛

Thankyou for the kind words @Nala2022 ❤️. I really want to learn how to be kind to myself as I often punish myself for things that are out of my control. It's hard when I've gotten so used to being hurt or not being allowed to feel anything other than pain and sadness and it's alot to try to undo, it feels impossible at times (I'm safe).

Hello @AuntGlow sweet, tagging you into this post aswell so I'm not repeating myself. Thankyou for being here ❤️. As for something that brings me joy, I'm really struggling with that today. I've tried to do this craft but keep zoning out, my diamond art is here but my head is hurting and I don't know if I can manage it. I really just want to lay down on my lounge with a movie on and Casper snuggles but I have to wait until the roast has finished cooking.

I’m sorry @MissGremlin @Nala2022 @AuntGlow I fell asleep. I actually really needed it. I’m feeling a bit better now. I probably should have a shower but I’m sitting in the sun for a bit.

Im ready to diamond art in about 30 minutes if you are @MissGremlin

Thanks for sharing that @Nala2022 Thay gives me hope that it won’t always be this hard to get myself regulated more often. Having the sleep and sitting in the sun is helping me come back. Still feeling a little hurt after comments that were made at work yesterday but I know that that is there opinion and not mine. Plus I had the support of another guy. So I’m focusing on the fact that he cared. I think changing to that mindset is helping too. Who would think the me a couple of weeks ago could do all of this?

Lots to catch up on @AuntGlow 

@Captain24 I'm so glad that you were able to get some more sleep sweet, sitting in the sun sounds perfect. I tried to do that earlier, but I was too dizzy and my vision keeps getting spots in it (I'm safe). Would absolutely love to do diamond art with you soon.

You’re very welcome @MissGremlin

It makes sense that learning to be kind to yourself feels really difficult when you’ve spent so long being hard on yourself and feeling like you weren’t allowed to feel anything other than pain and sadness. It’s a lot to undo, so try not to expect yourself to change it all at once. The fact that you want to learn a different way of treating yourself is already such an important step 💛

@Nala2022 it's hard when you want so desperately to change something but those things take time. There's no quick and easy fix, it takes hard work and many ups and downs along the way. I'm so tired of things being like this, I truly am. I get so scared to not be able to change things before it's too late. I know things need to change in order for me to keep living and I'm trying hard to make changes, even small ones, anything is better than nothing. Progress is still progress no matter how small right?

There's one part of my brain that says keep trying, you can do this, you can find a way through. But the other very large part says give up, you can't do it, you're useless, you'll never make it. It's a constant conflicting battle within my own head and it's so exhausting. I'm safe, sitting with Casper, just trying to explain what goes through my head.

I’m glad you’re feeling a bit better @Captain24. Sometimes we just need that extra bit of sleep or rest to recharge a little, and getting some sun helps too 😊

I can understand it can feel like it’s going to take ages, especially with the unknown of 'when' things will start to feel better, but it does get easier

Being able to notice that those comments at work were someone else’s opinion, while choosing to focus on the person who supported you, is such a positive shift

It really can make a difference when we notice we’re thinking negatively about a situation or ourselves and try to challenge that into something more positive or even neutral. It’s not always easy to change our mindset or challenge those thoughts, but you’ve given it a go and that is amazing! 😊

Let’s do this @MissGremlin! only if you are feeling up to it. I’m just putting some music on!

@Captain24 yes let's do this! Just going to pack up my craft things.