I can’t cope

I'm feeling so frustrated, I'm beyond exhausted and keep dozing off but then I'm waking up in a panic every few minutes. My body is really sore from doing so much cleaning, even breathing is hard as my lungs hurt. I really was hoping to get a good sleep and I'm getting so upset that I can't. Since 10pm I've dozed off about 8 times but each time it's just a few minutes before waking up.

At the moment I'm feeling like I'm not real, it's a scary feeling, like my movements don't feel like my own, even seeing my hand move doesn't feel like I'm in control of it. I know it sounds silly or crazy but it's hard to describe, even my brain feels all foggy, it's almost life everything is happening in slow motion.

Not being able to sleep, being so sore and not feeling real are causing the thoughts to be so much louder, I'm exhausted physically and mentally and feel like I don't have the energy to fight them. I'm trying so hard to manage alone but it's becoming a real struggle. I'm safe for now, laying in bed with Casper snuggled up next to me. I just wanted to get this out so that I'm not sitting with it all alone.

Hey @MissGremlin

How are you?

Hello @Captain24 sweet, I'm really not great today.

How are you sweet?

I’m feeling a little down out out but it’s a bit gloomy here so that doesn’t help. I’ve just cleaned my kitchen and about to take the dogs for a walk. Come home have a shower and see if I can get the floors done before I go to lunch! @MissGremlin. I’m not sure I have it in me for lunch but hopefully I can pull it off.

Im sorry you are to good. Maybe today is a perfect day for a rest day. You have had a big couple of days. I’m sorry that I did that to you and burnt you out. I was trying to be careful.

What can you do for yourself today? Maybe more of that custom? Also make sure you trust the process, it’s totally not going to

look right!

@Captain24 I'm sorry that you're feeling down and out sweet, the gloomy weather probably isn't helping with that. You've done well to clean the kitchen and I hope you enjoy taking the dogs for a walk. Fingers crossed that your lunch date goes ok, it will be good to get out with a friend for a bit.

You didn't burn me out sweet, it's the lack of sleep that did that. I've done my dishes, cleaned the bathroom other than the shower, scrubbed the glass to the oven door which was hard work and dusted the loungeroom mostly.

I don't know whether to do diamond art or lay down. My head is pounding and my heart is still being silly. I haven't taken any pain relief yet, I was trying not to.

I’ve changed my mind. I’m going to do the floors dirt and if I have time I’ll take them for a walk if not I’ll do it after lunch. That way my house is done and off my mind. @MissGremlin

You have done really well to get that done! What do you clean your oven sore with? Mine desperately needs doing.

You are so close. When does the yard get done? If you need to rest then you just do that. It’s important especially with no sleep and everything you have done. I’m sorry your head is still pounding and your heart is playing up.

I might do some diamond art between lunch and my appointment after walking the dogs. I’ll see how I go. It’s so close to being finished.

@Captain24 that sounds like a good plan, it's nice not having to worry about the housework.

Mine was so bad, I should have taken a before shot but I didn't think I was going to be able to get it clean. I used gumption and jif, rubbed it in and let it sit for a bit then scrubbed it, rinsed off and repeated that process. The last few marks I used orange stain/sticky spot remover which got rid of the rest. There's not one mark on it now.

Tomorrow the yards will be done. I just want things to settle with my body, everyday it's been something especially my heart which is really starting to annoy me.

Hopefully you can do some of your diamond art, that last bit sometimes seems to take forever. I have 2 sections left on my one.

Here’s ADHD for you. I’ve already changed my mind twice. I was washing the floor and notice marks in my fridge so I stopped and cleaned that then I thought I’d check the dishwasher too. Both are stainless steel. Then I finished washing the floors. Now I’m going to have a shower and get dressed for lunch. Do a little bit of diamond art until it’s time to go and the walk the dogs! I am all over the place today and I like strict routine and order! On the plus side my house is clean! @MissGremlin My head is just bouncing from one thing to the next. It won’t stop! I didn’t even have much to do!

Im glad it’s being done tomorrow as that will be another thing off your mind and your house will be perfect! You have done so well to get it there. A before and after pic would have been good for you to see what you have an achieved and were capable of doing. Now there is not stress for the inspection!

I wish things would settle for you too. Something needs to stop for you so it’s not constant stuff all the time!

@Captain24 ugh ADHD brain is the worst sometimes, that was me the other day. On the plus side though at least things are done now. I'm doing my diamond art at the moment and will be until about 12pm (it's 10.40 here at the moment).

It will be nice to have everything done here, i just want to try to keep on top of things then it's easier to manage.

Yes the constant stuff happening really is too much, I need to catch a break.

Now I’m sitting frozen on my bed trying to talk myself into the shower!!! I’ve got my clothes out ready for lunch. @MissGremlin I won’t have time to fit diamond art in! But at least walking the dogs after lunch will wind me down a bit. I also have to go to the supermarket and hopefully the chemist will have done my scripts by then. The tomorrow all I have to worry about out is the training day and my psych appointment which is already paid for.

It is easier to manage when we stay on top of it but it doesn’t always work. Could you set a task for the day to be able to keep it going well. Like the bedrooms one day, the bathroom another day, the kitchen, packing things away, the floors? Would that help you. If you do something after your morning routine and then have the weekends free? Just a suggestion.

I hope your diamond art is going well and that you are starting to settle down a little. It’s been helping me a lot!