I can’t cope

I’m sorry. Dinner is done and I’m going to go to bed. I just have nothing left in me. I am proud of myself but my thoughts are starting to slip and I don’t want that after having a couple of good days. @MissGremlin

I hope you can actually get some sleep tonight. Especially with less pressure for the inspection. We’ve got this together.

@Captain24 it's completely ok sweet, i hope you can fall asleep quickly.

Thankyou so much for all your help today and always. Sending you lots of love and hugs sweetheart ❤️.

Stuck awake with very dark thoughts, I've tried to settle things but nothing has worked. I got up to have a drink, walked around the house, listened to music, watched some funny videos. I'm exhausted but my brain is focused on everything I still need to get done before my inspection and I can't switch off. My head is pounding and my body is sore, everything just compounds together and makes me feel completely overwhelmed.

I really just want to be able to sleep so I don't have to think or try to fight myself cos right now I have no strength in me and i want to give in to those dark thoughts. I'm counting down the time until daylight comes around so that I know I've made it through another night somehow. I'm safe for now, laying in bed snuggled up with Casper. I just needed to get this out to not feel so alone cos its scary sitting in this space alone.

Sorry to hear that you are struggling to settle with those dark thoughts @MissGremlin. I can hear just how overwhelmed you are feeling, and it's no wonder your body and brain are finding it hard to switch off.

The dark thoughts can certainly feel more intense when we are running off little sleep but being able to recognise how they are existing for can actually be super helpful in keeping yourself safe. Even by doing those little things like listening to music, snuggling up with Casper, and getting your thoughts and feelings out on the forums - these are all proactive steps to be taking for yourself, and I hope this can offer some reassurance that you are not alone.

I understand that this doesn't always make things feel less scary, so please know you are always welcome to connect with Beyond Blue or Lifeline if you are needing some extra support keeping safe before daylight comes.

Sending strength your way today. You've got this!

Thankyou @ShadowMod, it definitely makes it so much harder when you're running off little sleep. It does help to be able to get things out and know that I'm not alone even at silly hours all through the night.

I did try to reach out to a service but they were very busy so I wasn't able to get through and eventually I dozed off for a little while.

Thankyou for your kind words ❤️.

Morning @MissGremlin 

Morning @Captain24 sweet, how are you feeling?

Tired and exhausted! I’m struggling to get started. @MissGremlin but the sooner I do everything the better it will be. I have a plan so hopefully that should work!

How about you?

@Captain24 feeling tired and exhausted aswell and have lots of dark thoughts today (I'm safe). I'm trying to get up to get things started but struggling to.

Your big thing you have to do today when is that? @MissGremlin

Sorry about your thoughts. That makes things hard. But we can get through today together. I’ll be beside you all day.

I stabbed myself with the needle! Plus I broke a finger nail right down and there was blood everywhere! Good start to the day! 😜