I can’t cope

@Nala2022 toasties are yummy. I'm having a chicken burger, just chicken, cheese and mayo on a roll.

I'm still waiting to get through, not sure if I'll continue to wait or maybe do some diamond art.

Casper decided it was play time and i had to throw his toy a million times. He runs and does parkour off my lounge 😂.

Morning @Captain24 sweet ☺️

Hey @Nala2022

This distrusted sleeping annoying me! I have medication that makes you drowsy but nothing that actually puts you to sleep and keeps you asleep. I’m suppose to organise a free sleep study but I haven’t done that yet.

I hadn’t seen her in 6 weeks as I just couldn’t afford it Pix has cost me over $17000 since February. I’m always open and honest otherwise how is she going to help me. I also have to work with her to be able to get through all of this. We try things that helps together. I have a list I need to look at before next week. I have already started some of it. I won’t know if it works if I don’t try. She actually cheers when I have tried something and it’s work or I have come up with something myself. We use my SP a lot for regulation as well.

Pix is actually lucky to be alive. I was really close to losing her. Mum has been a godsend to as she feeds and gives Pix her insulin at the right times when she is babysitting while I’m at work. They even pick her up earlier now due to meal times. I am really lucky that I could afford most of her medical bills. I just owe mum some money still. She is a totally different dog, she has lost a lot of weight and is so much happier and healthier than she has been in well over a year.

Im sorry that you aren’t a good sleeper. I don’t k is how you and MissGremlin cope with out a proper full nights sleep. I’m not and it’s only new to me!

It’s not too bad here. It’s 11 degrees but it’s not suppose to warm up much more. I have been sitting in the sun while talking to mum on the phone. She is going to order me a diamond art for Christmas of a sunset photo that I took!

I hope your morning has been going well.

Hey @MissGremlin

Ive read through a bit and it sounds tough. Those little things count. I’m sure it was all done pretty quickly so it’s ok to not have any energy. I don’t have any and I still haven’t taken the dogs for a walk and all I’ve done is feed them! I did sit in the sun for a bit so now I’ll go and have a shower and take them out for a quick walk.

I’ll be done by 11:15 of you want to do some diamond art? Mum is getting me the sunset one for Christmas!

How are you going now?

@Captain24 it was all done very quickly, then i just felt burnt out. I'm glad that you've sat in the sun for a bit, hope thy shower and walk goes well.

I'm sitting here doing my diamond art at the moment but not sure for how long. I don't know whether to push through the day or to try to have a nap. Oohhhh that's so cool, it will look amazing especially with the detailed ones you do.

I just feel empty, I've got nothing in me at all but yet I'm full of thoughts, urges and emotions (I'm safe).

I posted a photo of it above for when it gets approved @MissGremlin

I get that feeling. You’re busy and then all of a sudden just stop and it hits.

The sun was good but the breeze is cold. I’m going to go and have a shower and see how I feel. I’m not sure I’m up for walking the dogs but mum is doing some grocery shopping for me so she may come around. Maybe she won’t realise that I haven’t taken them.

A nap sounds good, I’m wondering the same thing. Do I nap or push through? I napped yesterday but then was still so exhausted at bedtime.

I get that empty feeling. It’s like there is just nothing there. Just a hollow shell and can’t think or do anything. Those thoughts are just relentless.

I’ll have a shower and come do some diamond art with you. I have all day to walk the dogs. If that’s ok with you?

@Captain24 that photo is stunning 😍.

Yes it's ok when you're busy but as soon as you stop then it all catches up to you.

See how you feel after a shower sweet, do what feels right for you.

That's the thing even with having a nap we're both still so exhausted come bed time. Doesn't change that I still can't sleep though.

The thoughts really are relentless, wish there was an off switch.

That sounds good to me, I'll be here. I feel like everything is going in slow motion today.

I’ve had my shower and put a load of washing on @MissGremlin

I still have a few things on my list to do but I’m doing nothing today! Most of them are little 5 minute jobs that I wanted done while I was off. The only big thing is weeding my garden, whipper snippering the front and back and mowing it all!

Ive just sat down to my diamond art!

Oh…. I washed the dogs water bowls out and found a dot in one of them! 😂

@Captain24 I'm glad you've had a shower and you did well to put a load of washing on.

Doing nothing today sounds like a good plan, you've done so much since you've been off of work. Doing all the yard work is a huge task.

Haha oh I find them stuck to me at times in the most random places 😂.

I'm still sitting here doing my diamond art so we get to do it together now.

@Captain24 my support worker has just messaged to say that she'll be here in 15 minutes. I'm really not even up for it today, I don't want to deal with seeing anyone (I'm safe).