I can’t cope

@Nala2022 I really hope it can bring some answers and then maybe some way of getting relief.

I just went outside to take Casper to thy toilet, looked around my yard and started thinking of everything I need to do out there before my inspection next week. My eyes filled with tears, I just don't have the energy to do anything, then I realised it's bin day today and I have to take the rubbish out. I started thinking of every step i need to do, take out the recycling, the rubbish, clean the bird cage out, pick up Caspers poo outside. It's all too much to even think about 😞. I'm not sure how I'm going to face the day, my brain is a mess as is my body, it's still recovering from having a seizure yesterday (I'm safe).

I've sat down to drink my cuppa which I don't normally get to do, normally I'm in between doing things taking a sip occasionally. I'm trying really hard to just focus on this moment without thinking about the whole day but it's really hard when I know there's so much to do.

I'm glad you're doing ok. Taking it easy sounds like a good idea and I hope you're all better soon ❤️

I hope so too @MissGremlin 💛

I can really hear how overwhelmed you're feeling right now. When everything piles up at once, even thinking about all the little jobs can feel exhausting

I think you're doing the right thing by sitting down with your cuppa and trying to stay in this moment. That's enough for right now. If later you feel up to tackling just one small thing, then that's okay too. It doesn't all have to be done today

Please be gentle with yourself, especially after having a seizure yesterday

Thank you lovely. I'm definitely giving myself permission to rest over the next few days

@Nala2022 the bins all have to be done today and the bird cage. I have such strong feelings to just disappear, to escape everything, I'm so, so tired of things being like this.

I'm sorry, I'm trying hard to be gentle with myself but my brain is all over the place. I'm safe for now, doing my morning routine.

That’s a lot to be carrying @MissGremlin. I'm glad you've been able to keep going with your morning routine despite everything you're feeling right now

I can hear how overwhelmed and exhausted you are, and I'm really sorry things feel so heavy today.

Please don't apologise. I know you're trying your hardest. Be as gentle with yourself as you can today, and if you need to take breaks between tasks, that's okay too

Thank you for letting us know you're safe. We're here with you 💛

Hey @Nala2022

Im feeling a little different today. I woke up a few times last night. But I must have been dreaming as I hit the bed post with a punch at one stage, that hurt! 😜. I also woke myself up answering questions? I don’t know what I said or what I was answering but it was weird! My alarm went off at 7:30 and I got up but didn’t feel great so I went back to bed until the dogs breakfast alarm went off. Now I feel different. I’m not really sure what it is though.

I had my psych appointment yesterday afternoon. I told her to hang onto her chair! Then I told her about the dogs and grounding and showering! She was actually silent for a moment and she has adhd so she is never lost for words! 😂 She was I little impressed. Then she asked me all about it and how it felt. I said the sitting in the sun feels ‘still’ It’s helping but I think the time in the sun is making me really tired. I hope I get use to it.

I had to sleep after, I slept for nearly 2 hours and then last night I was that exhausted that I could barely stand up and my eyes went all blurry. It seemed to take forever for 8:30 to come around to feed the dogs. One is diabetic so she has to bed fed at the same time everyday and have insulin. I did start to crash badly when I got so tired though.

Im really open and honest with my psych so it leaves me feeling vulnerable and emotionally exhausted. I don’t usually hold anything back.

Im glad you are feeling slightly better today. That’s a good sign. I hope you are sleeping well to help it pass and being gentle.

How is your morning going?

Ahh, I’m sorry you had such a disrupted sleep last night @Captain24. It does sound confusing! Sometimes dreams can feel so real that we wake up feeling a bit unsettled afterwards

I’m really glad you got to see your psych. It sounds like you were able to share a lot with her, and I think it’s great that you’re so open and honest in your sessions, even though I can understand how vulnerable and emotionally exhausting that can feel

Also, I love that she was impressed by the things you’ve been doing to support yourself, it shows how much effort you’ve been putting into looking after yourself

Aww, poor pup. Diabetes would be a lot to manage, but it sounds like she’s very lucky to have you caring for her 😊

Thank you! I’m sleeping okay, on and off. I’ve always been a bit of a terrible sleeper too 😅

My morning has been cold haha, I’m sure everyone is feeling it! But it’s been good so far, thanks for asking 💛

@Nala2022 I came back did the dishes, put the bins out, cleaned the bird cage out and picked up Caspers business. I'm feeling completely exhausted and my body is shaking. I want to sweep through the house but I don't know if I can manage it, I feel like I'm going to crumble into a heap.

I've sat down for a few minutes to hopefully let things settle but I don't really know what my next step is today.

I'm safe for now, not fully feeling it though. Just sitting here with Casper snuggled next to me.

You’ve done a lot already today @MissGremlin. I’m really glad you’ve sat down and given yourself a moment to let things settle

It sounds like your body is telling you it’s exhausted after everything you’ve managed this morning. Sometimes slowing right down and taking a few moments to breathe and reset is exactly what we need

Thank you for letting us know you’re safe. I hear that you’re not fully feeling it right now though, so if that changes or you feel like you can’t keep yourself safe, please reach out for extra support, whether that’s someone you trust, Lifeline, or emergency support if needed.

I’m glad you have Casper there with you 💛

@Nala2022 they were only little things though so it shouldn't take that much out of me.

I put some food in to cook, maybe having something to eat will help.

I'm waiting to get through to a chat service, hoping it helps unlike last time.

Casper is laying upside-down on the floor in front of me, he's being silly.

I think something to eat will help too @MissGremlin. I might make myself a toastie shortly as well.

I know they felt like little things to you, but you’ve still done a lot today while feeling this exhausted. I’m glad you’re taking a moment now and looking after yourself

I hope you don’t have to wait too long for the chat service and that it feels more helpful this time

Aww Casper 😂 dogs are so cute when they do that