I can’t cope

@Captain24 i hear you sweet. I relate to just having nothing to give as that's exactly where I'm at.

You're not complaining, you're sharing how you are feeling and that's completely ok.

I'm sitting in my bed now. Hoping we can both get a really good night's sleep tonight so we can do diamond art together tomorrow. Sending you so much love and hugs sweetheart ❤️.

I’ve just gotten into bed. My body hurts. I couldn’t even manage a shower. Which I’ve been doing really well at showering before bed. I’m a failure. My psych was happy that I was and I’ve just gone and let her down. @MissGremlin

Im just aching all over and I’m so close to tears it’s ridiculous.

I hope your diamond art is going well and that you manage some sleep tonight. Even if it’s a little bit.

@Captain24 you're most definitely not a failure sweet and you haven't let her down. It's just a rough night and doesn't erase your progress, try to be gentle with yourself.

I'm sending you so much love and hugs sweetheart, i hope you get lots of sleep and wake up feeling better tomorrow ❤️.

Laying in bed wanting to be able to sleep but feeling so scared and alone. I've fought so hard to just make it through the day and I know the day is almost done, but I'm still struggling with such strong thoughts and urges. I've done my diamond art but my eyes are so sore from being bloodshot, I watched my TV shows, listened to music, chatted to a friend online, but none of it has quietened my head. It's just constant no matter what I try to do. Then I've been dealing with chest/jaw pain which has me worried, I've been trying to let it settle and it does for a few minutes sometimes but then starts again (I'll call 000 if i think i need to), it's just like one thing after another. I'm so exhausted in every possible way, I'm not sure how I'm supposed to keep fighting when I feel completely empty. I'm safe for now, laying in bed snuggled up with Casper and I'm listening to the rain/wind outside. I needed to get things out.

It sounds like you've been doing everything you can think of to get through today, @MissGremlin. Working on your diamond art, watching TV, listening to music, talking with a friend. It must be so discouraging when it still feels like your mind won't quiet down. I can also hear how exhausting it is to be dealing with the chest and jaw pain on top of everything else.

I'm really glad you told us you're safe and that you've got Casper curled up with you while you listen to the rain. I'm concerned to read that the thoughts and urges are still feeling so strong, even after trying so many different coping strategies. Have you been able to reach out to a trusted support to let them know how difficult tonight has been? You don't have to sit with this all on your own.

If your chest or jaw pain worsens, becomes severe, or you're worried it's something more serious, it's important to seek urgent medical attention, just as you mentioned you would.

Thank you for reaching out instead of keeping it all inside. I'm really glad you did. 💙

Hi @MissGremlin, how are you today? How did your appointment go yesterday?

I can understand why you'd feel hesitant to reach out again after the experience you had. I'm really sorry that happened to you.

I hope your doctor was able to help with the sleep issues. We're here with you 💛

Hi @Captain24, how are you today? 😊

Oh wow, that is freezing! I can only imagine what that would be like after a night shift

Your photos were beautiful. It really does look like you live in such a lovely part of the country. A winery sounds like the perfect place to celebrate your birthday next year. Also, happy belated birthday!

I'm glad you've found that walking the dogs and spending some time in the sun helps you feel more grounded

I think it's just a mild cold thankfully. I'm feeling a bit better today than I was yesterday 😊

How did the rest of your afternoon go yesterday?

Hello @Nala2022, my appointment was ok, i got my scripts and next fortnight he is going to be doing a referral for a sleep study. There's no quick fix and who knows how long it will take to be able to do the sleep study but at least there's something in place.

As for how I'm going today, I'm ready to throw in the towel and quit. I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted and I just don't want to fight anymore. The thought of having to get through another day makes me feel so overwhelmed, the thoughts/urges aren't stopping, I can't get any relief from them no matter what i do. I'm safe for now, have to get up in a few minutes to start the day and I'll make myself a cuppa.

How are you doing today sweet?

Thankyou @SunsetSunrise ❤️. I'm sorry for the late reply, I've struggled to be able to put a sentence together.

I don't have anyone to reach out to really other than online a couple of online friends.

Thankfully the pain settled, I just couldn't get much sleep again. Today feels so heavy and impossible to face. I'm safe for now and about to have a cuppa.

I'm glad your appointment went okay @MissGremlin. It sounds like your doctor has a plan in place, even if it might take some time. I hope the sleep study can bring you a bit closer to some answers

I'm really sorry you're feeling so overwhelmed today. It sounds like you're carrying so much right now, and that must be incredibly exhausting. The fact that you're still taking things one step at a time, even when it feels this hard, says a lot about your strength

I hope you enjoy your cuppa and I hope it gives you a small moment of comfort before you start the day

I'm doing okay, thank you for asking. I think I'm on the mend, so just taking it easy for now 💛