I can’t cope

@Captain24 thankyou so much for being here today sweet, it's been helpful to have the connection while we have done diamond art.

I hope you can get a good night's sleep sweetheart, sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️.

Im sorry it’s so hard and I’m extra really sorry but I’m really tired and need to go to bed. I can’t stay up any longer. I’ve tried to be here. I’m really sorry to leave you. @MissGremlin 

@Captain24 it's completely ok sweetheart. Get some rest ❤️.

Thank you, you're such an amazing friend! Please get some rest @Captain24.

@MissGremlin has lots of support with all of us here. 🥰

I know it can feel confusing and scary to not know why we are experiencing certain feelings in the body, and it's completely normal for your brain to be scanning for answers - it wants to keep you safe.

I wonder if we can redirect to the knowledge that these feelings will pass, that maybe they are there because you haven't been feeling so well, and that you might be needing a little extra support tonight (and that's okay)?

I know you have diamond art and Casper - who else could you connect with this evening? Is a friend or a helpline possible tonight? @MissGremlin 

@AuntGlow I've been trying so hard to sit with the feelings, to do things to help them settle but I feel like I'm failing cos nothing is working.

I tried a crisis service earlier but the person couldn't seem to understand why I'm feeling the way I am. My friend is struggling tonight herself and I don't want to burden her anymore.

It's been a big couple of weeks, the birthday of my niece that took her own life in March, the 7 month mark since my other niece took her own life in December, the involvement from a service that's brought up alot of trauma, the 4 year anniversary since I had to put 2 of my dogs down on the same day, knowing I have an inspection coming up. There's just alot and I'm not able to process anything.

I'm safe for now, still trying to push through with doing my diamond art, I have ice age on in the background and Casper laying on the lounge in the window like a cat would.

@AuntGlow @Captain24 @Nala2022

I am really glad you called a crisis service. I wonder if you and your friend could practice supporting one another? @MissGremlin

I can hear there are a lot of trauma anniversaries coming up, and this is a perfectly understandable reason to be experiencing more dysregulation than normal.

I wonder if you could explore a really nurturing self-care plan for this week?

This sounds like a lovely, grounding evening. 💛

@AuntGlow we usually do until late at night but she's gone quiet tonight and I don't want to bother her.

The week ahead will be hectic with not many moments to do much at all. I'll just be taking each day as it comes.

I hope you have a good night sweet ❤️.

It's almost 3am and I haven't been able to sleep. I've tried but as soon as I lay down to get comfy i start to go into a full on panic attack. I'm so exhausted but feeling too scared to sleep, I feel like if I do that I'm not going to wake up again. I've tried to wind down by doing so many different things and at one point I was dozing off but then when I tried to sleep i couldn't, the panic took over. I don't know what to do, this is panic on another level, not like I've experienced before. I'm safe, I have Casper snuggled up next to me. I've tried reaching out to a crisis service but they weren't very nice to me about what I'm feeling. I just needed to get this out, to not feel so alone right now.