I can’t cope

@Captain24 I had a little bit of chicken tenders, it's hard to eat much at the moment cos of my teeth.

I'm hoping you can get a good night's sleep tonight sweetheart.

I just placed an order for 2 custom ones through that site!

I guess it would hurt a lot! @MissGremlin

I hope I sleep better than last night but I’m not holding my breath. Even my nap I didn’t sleep well lots of restless moments. Not able to get comfortable.

Hahaha I knew you would! Did you look through it at the pre-made ones?

@Captain24 it sucks when you can't get comfy. I'm really hoping tonight is better than last night.

I did, so many I love but just can't justify the cost at the moment. But I've got one custom for me coming and one for a friend.

I get the cost as it is really expensive. The custom ones are different though. Did you get the cat as well or a different friend? @MissGremlin You will really appreciate the difference and they are a one off not something you order all the time and it will also be harder and take more time. You’ll see why it takes me so long! 😂

I’m having some really dark thoughts and urges to go with them. I’m safe but don’t feel it!

@Captain24 a different friend. I'll share a picture tomorrow but I'll have to delete it so they don't see it. I can't wait to be able to do them, will have to see just how long they take me 😂.

Oh sweet, I'm sorry those dark thoughts and urges are there. Just try to remember that they're allowed to be there but we don't have to act on them. I'm sending you so much love and hugs, you're not sitting with them alone ❤️.

I just picked out a new diamond art to start and it's already in little bags, so exciting!

It’s ok. Share it when it’s done @MissGremlin. Mine took over a week for mine to arrive.

It’s ok. I should really go to bed but I’m kind of scared too incase I can’t sleep properly. But these urges are really close right now.

I’m so glad that they are in bags so much easier to deal with.

@Captain24 Is there something on your safety plan that could help bring things down a little bit sweet? I get that too scared to feeling in case you can't sleep, I get that every night but more too scared of having nightmares.

Things are feeling really tough, I'm exhausted but too scared to sleep. Constantly having nightmares and waking up having panic attacks is taking such a toll and it's really hard to deal with in the middle of the night. I've been struggling with my thoughts tonight with very strong urges that are so hard to fight when I'm as exhausted as I am. There's so much happening within my body at the moment, my heart rate is really high, my lungs hurt, I have the tooth infection and it feels like there's alot of pressure in my head. All these feelings cause me to panic thinking that I might fall asleep and not wake up which scares me even though I know I've had nights where I've felt similar and have been ok. It's just alot to sit with tonight and I'm feeling so scared and alone. I'm safe, laying in bed snuggling with Casper, trying so hard to sit with the feelings.

Hi @MissGremlin,

I'm really sorry to hear you had such a difficult night. It sounds incredibly overwhelming and frightening to be sitting with so much all at once

How are you feeling this morning?

We're really glad you let us know you're safe and that you've got Casper there with you. If those urges are still feeling strong today, or things start to feel like they're becoming too much, please reach out to a trusted support person or a crisis service. You don't have to carry this on your own

I know the forums are an important source of connection for you, and I'm really glad you've reached out here. Please keep letting us know how you're going and what you need from the community, we're here for you 💛

Hello @Nala2022, things are feeling very unstable today. I've been up and down throughout the night both with physical symptoms and thoughts/urges. It all just feels like alot right now and I'm so incredibly drained.

How do you keep fighting when you've got nothing left to give, when you've lost all hope of things getting better, when you only see one way out?

I'm safe for now, laying in bed with Casper, might have a cuppa soon if I can find the strength to get up. Think today I just need connection, to not feel so alone.

How are you doing sweet?