I can’t cope

@Captain24 oh sweet, I'm sorry you're not feeling well but I'm glad that you've been able to go home.

That sucks about hitting the pig, it's so hard when there's fog and the lights of other cars.

I'm hoping you can get some much needed sleep sweet and the you wake up feeling a bit better. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️.

I’ve been in bed for over an hour and can’t sleep! I’m so frustrated. I may as well get up and do my housework. At least that will be done. Then try sleeping again after I feed the dogs and have breakfast. I thought sleeping now would make today better. But obviously not. It would makes sense that things would t work the way I wanted them to.

I’ll live @MissGremlin. I’ll just use some antiseptic mouth wash that I have and I’ll get some aspirin kind of things I use and dissolve them in water and gargle it and swallow it. ( @moderator not sure if that is ok, it’s not a brand)

@Captain24 I'm sorry that you haven't been able to sleep sweet, it's so frustrating i know. I'm really hoping that once you've done some housework, had breakfast and fed the dogs that you'll be able to get some sleep.

That sounds like a good idea and I hope it helps to get rid of the sore throat for you.

I've had one of the worst nights, I've barely slept as I've had multiple nightmares and woken up having panic attacks. I'm feeling so done right now, like I just can't and don't want to go on. I'm safe, laying in bed with Casper just waiting for it to be time to get up so I can have a coffee.

Good morning @Captain24 and @MissGremlin you have both been awake early. I guess it doesn't count when you haven't been getting much sleep. Sorry to hear it. It's no fun at all. I know that feeling of almost welcoming the daylight so the night battle is over! :( Staying snuggled in bed with Casper sounds good though @MissGremlin and I hope your coffee was a cup of delight once you braved the elements to make it. How good is snuggles with animals though? I sleep with my dog Fred, he's like cat dog I swear! He curls up at the small of my back and is just the best for my nervous system. He's kind of old (9) and he takes these big deep breaths and exhales like an old man! He's precious and weird lol. I am very grateful for him.

I just wanted to stop by, say hello and send you both my best for the day ahead. I hope your day improves and you have some glimmers sprinkled here and there. The sun is shining where I am this morning, might EVEN get to dry some washing!

Take care of you.

Hello @hopeful_hannah, last night was truly horrible and facing today feels tough and heavy. When daylight comes around it sort of feels like a little win in knowing that you've made it through the night. Snuggling with Casper is the best, he curls up on my pillow, all 27.5kg of him 😂.

My coffee was nice i was up at 6.40am and it's rather chilly here today with rain forecast. Awww your dog Fred sounds adorable, they all have such unique personalities which make them so special. There's just something so soothing and comforting when they are snuggled up with us.

I'm trying to take things very slowly and gently today especially cos I'm feeling very fragile and vulnerable. I'm safe, Casper is sleeping next to me and I have my support worker coming at 10.30.

@MissGremlin slow and steady sounds good. It wins the race appranetly (there is no race....shhh don't tell anyone!)

Yeah Fred is the best. He's a Hungarian Vizla, so not a small dog either! Sometimes when I'm cuddling with him I'm like "this is a big dog I have here in my bed" Ha! Especially when he's being a weirdo with his head on the pillow like a human!

Hope your time with your support worker was all good, I'm glad to hear they were coming to visit.

@hopeful_hannah haha so we've been told 😂.

Awww big dogs are the best snuggle buddies. They just don't realise how big they actually are when they're standing on top of you 😂.

The time was ok but very short cos of the rainy weather here. Only talked briefly and signed a piece of paper. I'm going to heat up my wheat bag and snuggle with Casper on the lounge.

Hello @hopeful_hannah

I was on nightshift last night and came home early that’s why I was awake. I thought I would go to sleep when I got home but I didn’t. I did have just over 2 hours after I fed the dogs. I’ve been laying there but not sleeping. I’m guessing I will sleep well tonight. Well I’m hoping.

How are you? I love that your dogs lays curled up against your back I find it soothing when one of mine does it. He use to do it all the time and now he does it sometimes. I sleep better when he is there. The other one lays at my feet and in my road. She is stubborn and it’s all about her comfort not mine!

I didn’t do any house work. I just sat and doom scrolled. I fed the dogs and then went back to bed I’ve had a little bit of sleep but spent most of the time just laying there annoying Jett. @MissGremlin. I have a list of things to do this afternoon but if they do t get done I just don’t care. If I’m tired after having my lunch I will just go back to bed.

Im sorry it was such a hard night again. You really deserve a break. I can imagine how hard it is to feel just done. Did you get a rest today?

@Captain24 it's ok that you haven't gotten any housework done today sweet. You've just come off of night shift and you're not well either. I think maybe it's a good idea to let your body rest today.

I laid on my lounge but only managed to doze off briefly. That done feeling has really stuck with me today, when I saw my support worker earlier I said to her 'today is one of those days where I just want to end my life and be done with it' obviously I'm not going to but it's just that feeling that's been there all day cos of how tired and worn down i am. Today also marks 7 months since my niece that took her life in December was laid to rest, so it's a rough day with those emotions as well. I'm safe and I'm about to get ready to head out shortly.