I can’t cope

Sleep did find me quickly however haven’t been able to stay asleep. I keep dreaming and waking up but with no idea what I have dreamt about. I don’t usually dream @MissGremlin

Its still going to take me a while but it’ll look really good, even more so when it’s framed but that will be a while at $55 a frame!

I hope you are getting some sleep. You deserve to get some.

@Captain24 I'm yet to sleep myself. I'm sorry you keep waking up after dreaming, I know how hard it is to have a disturbed sleep.

It will look amazing when it's framed, sucks it's so expensive but the pictures you do are so worth it.

I’m still awake and I’m not liking it. I usually sleep really well. This is going to make it hard for the day. My thoughts are running really fast and loud. I’m safe. I have things to do that I need to do. I won’t be able to function. I’m already scared of what the day will bring. Me not sleeping properly opens up a massive can of worms. Louder, darker thoughts. Then there is also the question of why I can’t sleep. Does that mean mania is around the corner or is it just a bad night. This doesn’t usually happen to me the whole not sleeping. Is it all the stress I’m under? I feel sick with it. I hate it. I hate my life. I dont t want a life. Once again I’m safe. I just wish it would all be over. Then I would have to face the thoughts anymore, the stress. The horrible life.

I’m sorry you haven’t slept yet @MissGremlin.

Im really tired and trying to go back to sleep again. This time I’ve been awake for an hour. It’s going to mess me around so much. I’m tossing up whether I keep trying or just get up and do diamond art.

I could just try and put my white noise on again and give it another go. If it doesn’t work I’ll just get up. I’m not use to this. I’m an awesome sleeper.

@Captain24 maybe try with the white noise and see if you can get back to sleep. Have you tried to get up for a walk around to see if it helps to them settle again getting back into bed?

It's horrible being awake during the night and it does mess things up. Sending you lots of love and hugs sweetheart ❤️

@Captain24 hi hunny thank you for including me. i am always open to new friendships. i hope you are okay ... well better than okay. it has been raining here all night which has been wonderful just the way a little brown bunny likes it. take care and have a great day. love bunniexxx

Rain over night is lovely @Bunniekins. It feels so peaceful and calming.

I had a rough night of sleep which is really unusual form me. So I’ve been sitting here doing diamond art from about 4:45!

Hope you are doing ok

The white noise didn’t help, I dozed off but woke up before it finished. I had been walking around but it was really cold so that kinda woke me up more. @MissGremlin

I gave up at about 4:45 and finished that section of diamond art. Now I’m halfway through and have started in the next section and normally I’m still asleep at this time!!!

How are you going?

I’m sitting here crying. Dad made a joke thinking they had to get something for me. I asked mum if he was annoyed at me but she said he was just joking. This whole money situation is getting me down. I have another $500 or more at the vet today and that’s just paying my account and getting insulin and needles. I just can’t afford this. I’m feeling sick in the stomach from it. I can’t even talk to my psych about it. Because I just can’t afford to see her either. I’m broke. I have no idea how I’m going to pay for pixies next vet visit that’ll be $900 of them send a urine sample off.

Sorry I just needed to get this out. It’s eating me up.

Morning @Captain24 sweet, I'm sorry the white noise didn't help and that you woke up again.

I'm glad you've been able to do diamond art but I really wish you'd been able to get more sleep.

I can understand why your dad making that joke would hurt, especially with how hard things have been. Pix's vet bills are a huge cost and you've had to miss work as you've been unwell also. Just know that you're doing your best sweet and I hope things start to settle soon for you.

I've just woken up, I'm laying here with lots of thoughts/feelings which are far from ideal. My throat is really sore today, this cold just won't leave me alone at all. I'm safe for now, going to make a cuppa and feed Casper.