I can’t cope

I'm really sorry things have crashed so hard after having a couple of better days, it can feel so disheartening when that happens ☹️ @Captain24

I'm glad you let us know you're safe

Please keep reaching out and leaning on your supports today if things continue to feel this heavy

It’s okay if you feel like you can’t do much today, getting the washing on was already something, even if it doesn't feel like much

Try and be gentle with yourself today, we’re here for you

@Captain24 I'm sorry you haven't slept well sweet.

I can hear how heavy things are feeling for you, having that extreme anxiety isn't easy. I truly understand how you're feeling when even moment by moment feels like too much. I'm very much the same in not wanting to face the day or the world, I've had barely any sleep and everything just feels too much (I'm safe). But maybe today we can tackle the world together even if it's one second, one breath and one tiny step at a time.

Sending you so much love and hugs sweetheart, I'm here for you ❤️.

Thanks @Nala2022

It’s just really hard. My anxiety has been out of control and that doesn’t usually happen as bad as it has. It also then leaves me feeling really depressed.

I have to email my psych today with dates for our next appointments. So I’m hoping she will check in. I’m not sure she will though.

I have things that need to be done, I live alone so there is no one else to do them. But I’ve only written half a list as some things can wait. The biggest thing though is that I have to bath my dogs. The other stuff isn’t really important it’s me being house proud.

I think I will need help to get through the day though. It’s not starting out real well.

Thank you @MissGremlin

Im sorry it’s so hard for you. Maybe when these tablets start to kick in it’ll help, I know that’s a couple of weeks away but keep holding on to that.

It’s going to be hard I think. I’m wishing I could just disappear, I just need something to get me through. I do have some thoughts that I haven’t had for a little while. I’m safe, they are just thoughts. But I wish they were true.

I'm sorry that you're going through this, I know it's not always easy @Captain24

I think emailing your psych is a good start, I hope they do check in with you.

On days like this, "good enough" is more than enough.

See how you feel, maybe you can just bath your dog's today, the rest can wait for now

You don't have to tackle the whole day at once. Just focus on the next thing in front of you, and keep checking in here if it helps

@Captain24 holding onto that hope is hard espescially given that last night I had only just dozed off before having a nightmare. I know they take time to work but it's hard when the nightmares are so full on and scary. Last night got too much and I reached out to a crisis service and had an ambulance here around 3.30am. Those thoughts are not just thoughts for me and that's hard to manage alone at times which is why I'm trying so hard to get support. I'm safe for now, my doctor is aware of where things are at and I do everything I can to keep pushing through even when it's just second by second.

I get it sweet, I really do. What's on your list of things to do today? You've already done so well to get the washing in and being back in bed is perfectly ok. I read about bathing the dogs which I know means also changing the bedding.

Maybe it can just wait until tomorrow. @Nala2022. Maybe I can just do things as I feel like it. Maybe I’m just putting too much pressure on myself. Maybe I just need to let myself feel whatever I need to feel. That’s hard though as those dark thoughts are looming. I’m frozen on the lounge eating a bag of lollies as I have no clean bowls to have breakfast and I don’t have anything else to have for breakfast. I haven’t been grocery shopping since last Tuesday.

I guess it can only get better from here.

The thought of not wanting to be here is intense though. It’s hard to shake. I am safe. I know it’s a thought but it feels real right now.

That’s not good about the ambos. @MissGremlin. They scare me when they come. They have taken me to hospital before -and that scared me the most. Usually I get the police though. Call outs here don’t take very long either.

I can’t imagine what you go through every night.

I don’t think I care for anything today. It can just all wait until tomorrow unless I feel like I can do something at the time. It’s the worst that it has been in ages over here. I’m not even interested in anything. It’s hard when I’ve been working so hard to get myself well and having good moments.

It can definitely wait @Captain24

Try and take the pressure off yourself, just do or don't do what you like today.

Just focusing on the next small thing, help take a bit of the edge off

I know you’re already aware of Lifeline (13 11 14) and Beyond Blue (1300 224 636), but if things keep feeling intense today and the thoughts continue, it might be worth reaching out to them too so you’re not sitting with it alone

What support do you need right now?

Thank you for letting us know you're safe 💛

@Captain24 it's not always ideal having them out but the past few times they've been caring and understanding. I've had police before and those experiences haven't been nice.

If things feel like too much today then it's perfectly ok to leave them. Maybe today is a rest day, a self care day. I know you've been working so hard but try to remember that just cos things are hard right now it doesn't erase all the progress you've made and those good moments are still very real.

I'm making a coffee and thinking how the heck am I supposed to get through the day. Then I'm trying to remind myself that I don't need to face the whole day right now, but just focus on having a coffee and then taking things from there. I'm so very tired, I'm dizzy and hallucinating so I need to remember to be gentle with myself and rest as much as I can (I'm safe).