I can’t cope

@Captain24 i get that feeling when the thought of eating makes your stomach churn, it's why I didn't manage dinner tonight. Even if you only eat something little, it's better than nothing. Maybe sort out your meds tomorrow and just take out what you need tonight?

I know you are sweet, I'm sorry things are feeling so rough at the moment but you're not alone ❤️.

I'm feeling really anxious about starting the new medication tonight.

I ate something and feel really sick. My hands are tingly @MissGremlin I’m still lightheaded and struggling to breathe still.

I get the anxiety but it’ll be a good thing. Imagine how things can change. Sleep will help so much.

@Captain24 I'm sorry you're feeling sick sweet. Would it help to go through the grounding exercise together?

Ok.. @MissGremlin

I can see my tv. If has the ‘shark’ show on at the moment.

I can see Jett all curled up in the cushions, he is in a tight little ball.

I can see my diamond art of Pixie in the mud. I’m remembering the day that it happened.

I can hear Pixie snoring. That’ll stop soon as it’s nearly dinner time.

I can hear the hum of the fridge.

I can hear people talking outside and bonus now Jett is growling at them.

I have tilted my head side to side.

I have shaken my arms

I have kicked my legs about.

@Captain24 awww Jett being curled up in the cushions, so cute 😍.

Pixie in the mud is such a funny memory to have, i love that you can be reminded of it with the diamond art picture.

Oohhh almost dinner time for the dogs, then you can head to bed and hopefully get a good night's sleep.

I can see my diamond art in front of me.

Ican see the new rainbow unicorn weighted/heated teddy that i brought today.

I can see Casper laying on my bed with his nose buried into a pillow.

I can hear cars going past outside.

I can hear my heart pounding.

I can hear the TV show I'm watching.

I've wiggled my toes.

I've moved my neck around to stretch it.

And I've moved my hands as I'm typing on my phone.

You did so well to notice all those things sweet and to move several parts of your body.

@Captain24 take your time with processing it hun. It may have been 'just a dream', but it was also a traumatic experience, and it takes time to move through the emotional aftermath of something so vivid and overwhelming.

If bed feels safe, then that's a good place to be for now 💜

@MissGremlin an overactive amygdala can be hard to contend with for sure! I've not heard of Sarai Speer I will have to look her up! And yes, the more understanding we have of how our nervous system works, I think the easier it can be to reassure ourselves and let go of shame 😊

@Jynx it's definitely hard to contend with and also incredibly exhausting. The way she explains things is both easy to understand but also done in a way that brings a sense of lightness to it. She goes through several different grounding exercises and ways to help calm the nervous system.

I’ve been working on it. I did it a few times at work and then I just tried to notice the different sounds @MissGremlin

Im glad you didn’t too. I’ve just fed the dogs and I’m getting really hot. I have anxiety but not like this. This is consuming me.

I’m up and I’ve had dinner and meds. I’ve just fed the dogs as well @Jynx. I’m thinking I might have a shower and see if that helps.

I’ve just gotten all hot and sweaty like you do when you’re extremely nervous. I don’t normally get anxiety so bad.

So this is kinda ‘normal’ so to speak? I need to process the dream to move forward? I don’t dream much but when I have sometimes they are weird and feel real but just normal kinda stuff. Not this traumatic and out of the blue. I don’t even know where it comes from, it’s not even like it’s a memory. It’s nothing like anything ever. For me or anything on the news. It’s all completely new and involved stuff that I just accepted and it wasn’t acceptable. That’s where my judgement from myself is coming from. The fact that I dreamt something so horrible but the fact that I allowed it to happen several times before I went and told someone.

@Captain24 it's good to be able to do it in different places/rooms and noticing a variety of things/noises. There's another one i like to do where I pick a colour and try to find as many things around me that are that colour and notice the texture of them etc. I also do one where I pick a subject say movies or food and then go from A-Z naming something for each letter.

Anxiety can be very consuming and grounding exercises can be trial and error. Also practice and repetition can help to get better over time with doing them. Unfortunately for me the anxiety often hits so suddenly so I've not got a chance to calm things before I'm in a full on panic and feeling like I'm going to pass out from it. In those moments I really try to use Casper to help keep myself grounded and focusing on his breath to slow things down, reminding myself that I'm safe and that eventually things will ease.

I know it's so tough sweet but I'm here and I'm always happy to go through grounding exercises or even just sit and chat, whatever helps in the moment ❤️.