I can’t cope

@Captain24 it's always nice to have someone that shows care and doesn't judge.

I hope you can get a good sleep sweet. I'm sending so much love and hugs your way ❤️.

I’ve applied again for 7 weeks time and hopefully that one gets approved. @AuntGlow

Every part of my being needs a rest.

Im about to go to bed but yes please can we work on something for me to get through the next 7 weeks. Please?

There has been a massive improvement over the last couple of months. I’m starting to read myself better. I’m learning more techniques and stuff. I’m safe so it makes it easier as I know that that is not going to happen. It’s all hard work but I am tired of trying so hard so I want to try and let it just be. Doing it the other night showed me that it’s not as scary as I thought. The thoughts didn’t become louder and stronger, they were the same and I could just trust in the process which I have never ever said until 2 seconds ago. You have been part of this too. Your input and guidance

I hope you get some sleep tonight @MissGremlin

Thinking of you.

Good night.

@Captain24 Thankyou sweetheart. Night night ❤️

How did you sleep? @MissGremlin.

Do you see your GP this week or next?

Morning @Captain24 sweet, I've barely slept. I see my doctor on Tuesday i think.

How are you sweetheart?

I’m sorry about the sleep. @MissGremlin. I only just realised today is Friday! It gets confusing with my work shifts. It’s either a dayshift, a nightshift or a day off! That’s why I have to put all the reminders in my phone!

I hope he helps, if not when can you get in to see someone else?

Im tired and exhausted. I have hung my work clothes in the line and just hoping it doesn’t rain while I'm asleep this afternoon. I’ve been grocery shopping. I got a block of chocolate each for the guys that helped me. My meals are in the oven cooking. When the dogs are fed I’m going out to get my tyre hopefully fixed. Then hopefully nothing until I have to have lunch and take the dogs to mums.

What is your day looking like?

@Captain24 can relate to getting messed up with what day it is.

I really hope he does. I'm not sure when I'd be able to get in with another, but it's usually a 3-4 week wait. There's only 2 others that I really feel comfortable enough to see there.

I'm sorry you're tired and exhausted sweet, you've done so well to still get things done this morning and I hope it's an easy fix with the tyre.

I don't have anything on today. I need to make some phone calls but I'm not sure if I've got that in me today.

Maybe just book it and see. You can still see him until you get in or just demand answers from him. I’m lucky, my GP is proactive. @MissGremlin

I just dropped the tyre out. They had a quick look and couldn’t see anything. They said to come back out after 11. I’ll be sleeping then so dad’s going to take it back out for me. That’s good though as he will pay! I’ll pay them back eventually.

I just messaged mum to see if they wanted my dogs and car now but she said it’ll be fine until 11. Bugger I was hoping to get more sleep! 😂

Phone calls are hard but sometimes just need to be done which makes it worse. I avoid them but then know it has to be done. If I didn’t have a space saver tyre in my car I wouldn’t have taken it out. I didn’t like being that person that drives 80km in a 100 zone. That’s what I had to do last night. It was embarrassing. I’m the one that goes 110!

Not much on sounds like a good plan. I’m just going to iron my work jeans, pack my meals and the do a colour or 2 of my diamond art until it’s time to eat and drop them all off.

@Captain24 I'm just see what happens when I see him on Tuesday. He's a good doctor, he's just at a loss on what to do. I'm so complicated so I get it.

I'm glad you've dropped the tyre off, there's probably just a small puncture from something. It's good that your day will sort it out though.

Oh bugger, some extra sleep would have been good.

The phone calls feel like alot today but waiting until Monday feels like a long time too so we'll see what happens. See that's why my spare is just a normal tyre, so I don't have to worry about going slower than usual.

Hope the ironing and packing meals go smoothly. Doing some diamond art and having something to eat sound perfect until you can drop the dogs off and then you can get some sleep.