I can’t cope

Thanks @Jynx @MissGremlin @EternalFlower

I have put a complaint in through the feedback page. Hopefully my complaint adds to them.

I still have a headache and feeling really low and down and out. But I’m just cooking my meals for the next few nights. I will have my afternoon nap and then get ready for work. It doesn’t seem as hard on nightshifts for some reason.

The sun is shining which is nice. We did need the rain though and there is supposed to be to be more coming next week which is nice.

Mum has an appointment in July that is in one of my nightshifts so I have decided to take the whole block off. That way I don’t have to try and sleep all day with my dogs on the bed and I can look after mums dog. I think I need a break from work. It’ll give me 2 weeks off.

I came to the realisation that I come home from holidays in February on a Thursday and Pix ended up in hospital that Friday. Since coming back it has all been about Pix and I’m tired. Mum said she has enjoyed these last 2 days without my dogs as she watches Pix all day as she doesn’t want something to happen on her watch. Still give us all a break and I have out so much in them looking after her. She should be nearly sorted by then (hopefully) if she doesn’t need surgery for the bladder stones.

It feels like a relief putting in for the time off. Fill my cup a little. I’m not telling anyone as I want the time to myself and not doing things for other people.

Sorry about the long post but I’m feeling less stressed and a little more relaxed. This time in 4 weeks I’ll be on my break.

Morning @Captain24 sweet, I'm sorry that you still have a headache and feeling low. I hope you can get a good sleep this afternoon once you've done the meals for the next few nights.

I'm sorry I can't reply to everything right now, i just don't have the energy to break it all down and reply bit by bit. Sending you lots of love and hugs sweetheart ❤️.

That’s ok @MissGremlin. I understand and it was a lot. I still don’t feel like going to work but knowing that I have booked a break in feels a little better. 2 more blocks to go.

It was a lot but thank you for reading.

I hope you are ok?

@Captain24 can understand still not wanting to go but I'm hoping the 2 blocks to go are more manageable. I'm glad you've got some time off coming up too. Fingers crossed Pix is sorted by then and doesn't need the surgery.

I'm really not ok, things have felt so hard and I feel like I've got nothing left in me. I'm safe for now, I've come back from my morning routine and I've put a load of washing on and done the dishes. I've got the support worker today, I want to cancel it but I'm trying not to. I just want to lay on my lounge and try to sleep but having the worker coming means I won't get a rest today at all.

I can’t afford the surgery! But I really hope she doesn’t need it for her. @MissGremlin

Im sorry it’s so hard. I totally get the need for rest but at least they are someone you can talk to. Just to be able to get things out for now.

@Captain24 surgery is so expensive so I'm keeping everything crossed that they have started to dissolve if not gone already.

I just cleaned the bird out, picked up Caspers business and took all the bins out. I've got to hang up the washing now and put the other bits in the dryer. I feel so drained just from doing such basic tasks.

It’s so hard when the little things take it out of us but you have done well, that’s a few things! Aarrgghh bin day! @MissGremlin Can you relax for a little bit now? What time is the support worker coming? If you don’t think you can say stuff could you write it down or write her a poem. They are really deep and explain a lot.

@Captain24 I just cleaned the bathroom so I'll see if I can sit down for a bit. She's coming at 11.30. I'll just try to talk to her, probably won't be able to get much out but we'll see what happens.

The bathroom is a big job! So well done! @MissGremlin. Hopefully you can just chill for the next hour.

My dinners are cooked and my lunches are nearly ready. Then all I have to do is have a shower, take my meds and drop the dogs in.

Mum was understanding that I needed a break from work and she is glad because it gives her a break from watching Pix.

@Captain24 i mainly only cleaned the sink and tidied everything up. I'm sitting on my lounge and have a movie on.

Well done for getting the dinner's and lunches done. Hoping all goes smoothly with everything else.

Sounds like it works out well for both of you.